Sunday, July 30, 2006

Your mission, should you choose to accept it ...

Background: Ten month old keeps waking up in middle of night ... sometimes for 30 minutes, sometimes for 3 hours. At times, child wakes up happy and jibber-jabbering, and at times, crying. Child is not hungry, because he spits his milk out and sticks his tongue out firmly to refuse the bottle. Child fusses, saying "eh, eh, eh, eh, eh..." Parents are unsure of what "eh, eh, eh, eh, eh..." means, but at first glance ... it can't be good. Parents acknowledge that child is teething, and wakes up at time that Motrin is wearing off, so first thing is to re-medicate child to relieve discomfort, but no matter how much rocking, cuddling, and shushing ensues after initial midnight re-medication, child will not stop wiggling or go to sleep. Child wants to play. Child loves to hang upside down like a monkey, but mom's too tired to play like that at 1 or 2 in the morning. Even though child wakes up in middle of night, 7:00 comes around pretty early for wake-up time, and said child has decided to cut naps down to 45 minutes. Not a good thing. Especially when mom and dad are old and tired and want.to.nap.too. Then, child will stay up until WELL past his bed time, because he is not tired and refuses to go to bed, and screams and screams, and screams when placed in crib to listen to his beloved Bible CDs.

Mission: Should you choose to accept, offer advice on how to re-train child to sleep through entire night again, take normal naps during day, and go to sleep at normal time at night.

This parent will self-destruct due to lack of sleep in ten, nine, eight, seven, six...

19 comments:

shannon @ rocks in my dryer said...

"Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Dr. Richard Ferber. Saved my sanity, my children and my marriage! ;)

Rabbit said...

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. I can't possibly condense it into a comment, but Weissbluth will give you a plan for "retraining" bad sleep habits that is sensible but not harsh. I hope this helps. :)

org junkie said...

Gosh Gibee I feel for you. I have a teething 8 month old! No fun. As for the sleeping thing...such varying opinions I know....but since you've asked here is mine. Since you know that he isn't hungry and you've gone ahead and re-medicated for the teeth I would simply put him back into bed and let him play. I noticed in your pics that you have a mobile but how about adding toys that he can reach and play with on his own. You know the ones that hang off the crib bars. I have a couple in my son's crib and he loves to go to bed and play in there and eventually falls asleep. Oh and a baby crib mirror works wonders too. My opinion is don't go into his room at night unless he is really crying and even then DO NOT turn on any lights, make eye contact or say anything....as little stimulation as possible. Well thats just my two cents worth. Hope some or all helps you.
Laura
PS: Please join me tomorrow for "Menu Plan Monday". I'm trying to get the word out. I just really want to support and encourage moms out there that want to start menu planning.

GiBee said...

Shannon and Rabbit -- I have been reading the same book since January, and I'm still only on chapter three... but I'll try to squeeze in a couple more books.

Org Junkie ... I will try your suggestions tonight (if he wakes up)... as for meal planning .. bwahhhaaahahahahaha!Y'all would a) laugh at my "meal planning" and b) be shocked at how extravagant we can be sometimes ... but I'll give it a try.

kpjara said...

I say: stay in your own room, start crying loud as you can (probably won't be too hard) and when he hears you maybe he'll realize everyone is just having a bad night...and go back to sleep!Q

signed,
The childless commenter!

kpjara said...

No, I have no idea where that Q came from...?

Dawn said...

Sounds like a little Feisty I know!

Faith said...

I'm with Shannon! It is hard to let them cry -see, you need to get that video monitor, then you could watch him and feel better that he is okay! I think if you go in during sleep time, they like to keep you coming back!! Also, it is not unusual for little ones his age to have little nightmares- but, let him go back to sleep on his own! Little Man says to tell you to get him a Bun-Bun - it will make everything better- pwomise!
And another thing -(I took this mission seriously) try some Dr. Hylands teething tablets. They are wonderful. You can get them at most drug stores. They melt in the mouth and apparently taste delish! They also work wonders for teething pain!

Chappyswife said...

You are funn-ay! And also sleep deprived. I am sorry. I do like my sleep and my naps so I hope it gets better very soon for you!

Kelley said...

I feel your pain! I was up at 1 AM with my 19 month old. Anyhow...I'll second on the Hyland's Teething Tablets. They are wonderful! I continue to agree with Faith in that you just need to stay out of the room. I swear that they test us to see if we'll keep coming back. We listened to Mia scream for 10 minutes (felt like longer and has gone on for an hour at times) last night until she laid herself back down and went to sleep. Good luck!

Katrina said...

Oh, you poor thing. I wish I could offer some advice. I used the books recommended by Shannon and Rabbit with my 7-year-old, but he loved sleeping at night anyway, so it wasn't too hard. Now, with my 2-month old...sigh... I'm still trying to figure out how to get him to like his crib and to not be up 3 times a night. From one sleep-deprived mom to another...I hope your little guy gets back on his routine soon.

Peach said...

We loved Hyland's tablets at our house, too. I wholeheartedly agree with all those that have said make as little fuss as possible after caring for Hunter's needs and quickly leave. The less of a "fun" situation it seems, the less he will want to stay up and hang out with mommy.

Praying for uninterrupted sleep for all of you soon! Teething sure is a bear . . .

GiBee said...

Kim, you crack me UP, girl! Sometimes, childless commenters can take a step back and really "SEE" into the situation. Why didn't I think of staying in my room and crying? This is advice EVERY mom should be armed with. Genius! And, I'll drop a Q for you, too!Q

Faith -- I soooo, soooo love Hylands. Life savers. AND, the bottle can capture Hunter's attention for... well ... seconds! That's a feat in its self! Sigh -- we've got a bun bun. Well, three or for, that is. And he hugs them like there's no tomorrow while he's sleeping. He'll craft a pillow out of one, cuddle the other, and throw his legs over the third. Crazy kid!! Please tell little man that he's weally weally right ... it does make evwything all better!

Chappyswife -- Ineeeeedanaptooo! Yeah -- read that in a whiney-baby voice! Thanks for the prayers.

Kelley -- do you have a blog??? I read your profile, and girl ... you seem like you're right up my alley! C'mon ... share your blog with us!!!

Katrina -- first of all, I love your name "Katrina" -- I have a dear friend from Australia who is a Katrina too. It just rolls off the tongue! Next, I love the name of your blog! "Callapidder Days" -- it's so cute, as is the design. Thanks for commenting and allowing me to discover you!

Peach -- I'll take you up on the prayer and the advice. We will try it out next time he wakes up... I'll give y'all an update on today's post.

Y'all are just the bestest of friends, y'know that?

Katie said...

Dr. Weissbluth's book is WONDERFUL. And it is broken up really well so you don't have to read the whole thing to get what you need from it. We had the same issues with dd when she was that age. She started waking up regularly even after she wasn't in pain from the teething because we were basically encouraging her to do it with all the interaction we were giving her. I never could let her "Cry It Out" but I did let her cry a little bit and when we would go in at night we kept the room dark, made sure she was ok and did not engage. We were very solemn, didn't talk, and didn’t smile. I would just lay her down in the crib and rub her back until she fell asleep again. Good Luck! We're about to do it all again with baby #2 due in October so I definately commiserate with you!

Katie said...

Ok, I have to ask - What is a Bun Bun? And why don't I know about this?

Everyday Mommy said...

Oh, sheesh! Such a hot issue, and something on which I have a HUGE opinion. Maybe I'd best keep my mouth shut :)

Mama D said...

Oh ick. I am so sorry. Hope he gets over this soon!

Everyday Mommy said...

I've returned, after some encouragement from GiBee, to leave a comment with my thoughts on this subject.

First, let me encourage you with two thoughts:

1. You are the mother that God has chosen to parent this child. You alone know this child better than any human being on earth, even more so than your darling husband.

God has designed mothers for this very purpose; the care and nurture of our children. He will supply your needs and you can go to Him daily for wisdom and counsel. Trust your instincts! God made you a mom!

Toss doctors Ferber and Weissbluth and Sears and Seuss and whomever aside. No matter how knowledgeable they may seem, these men have a single goal: to sell books. And, they are not your child's parent. You are. Moms have been doing this for thousands of years and without books.

Trust yourself. Use common sense. Be consistent. If baby stops crying and gives you a big silly grin when you walk into his room then you'll know you've been had! And, you don't need to read a book to figure that out.

2. This too shall pass. Teething is a season which disrupts not only nighttime sleep but daytime behavior, too. The good news is that it doesn't last. Yes, you're going to lose sleep. It's part and parcel (essential and unavoidable) of being a parent. But, baby will be through this phase before you know it. Right now do what you have to do to make him comfortable so that he CAN sleep.

The big question seems to be: Do I let him cry or not let him cry? The truth? Only you can decide. You are his parent. You will know, whether by instinct or experience if the cry is one of pain, frustration, manipulation or just plain fussing. How you deal with the wake-ups will vary from day to day, week to week.

If you have a good bed time routine already in place (and I know that you do since I spoke with you on the phone) then my advice is "Don't worry about it". When the pain of teething is over your routine will help him find his rhythm again.

In short: Be consistent, be loving, be smart, be patient.

You're the mom! Go with your gut. You can do this!

flipflop said...

Hope your problems was solved. I can't really offer any advice, it comes with the age he is at right now. He will get better again, then worse, then better, then worse, then better...

:)

ps...I'm currently sleeping with one of my little ones because if I didn't there wouldn't be narry a one of us get some shut eye. Yes I said narry.