Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Wax on ... DON'T WAX OFF!

I realized after I posted this have never shared with you why I am so opposed to waxing. It's pretty simple, really ... it all started with ... my horrible waxing moment. Yes, I had a waxing moment. At home. You see, I would normally go to a salon to have a few stray hairs on my [ehem ... cough ... cough] chin waxed. Well, there was a time in my life where I was married, and attending college full time while working only part time, and our monthly income made it very difficult to afford a professional wax job! So, being the brilliant chick that I so obviously am ... I decided to wax my own darn chin! Heck -- if they can do it, well -- so can I! After all, I've seen them do it a thousand few times, so it can't be all that hard, can it?

So off I went ... to the local drug store ... to purchase some wax ... so I could torture groom myself. I took it home, microwaved it, and applied it to my skin. Since I didn't want to take too long doing this, I thought ... "self ... why don't you just apply all at one time the wax in all the places that need to be waxed and save yourself a lot of time?" So I did. And, I put the little fabric strips on top of all the wax. You know ... just to get ready... and save time.

I didn't realize that you had to apply the wax and then remove it immediately. I waited a SECOND longer (after applying wax all over the place) while trying to build my courage to rip off the fabric strip. And in that SECOND, the wax hardened. Okay -- maybe it was longer than one second ... count the time it took to apply all the wax, and the time to smooth all the fabric strips on top. Who really knows exactly how long it really took.

So, I thought I'd start with the first section that I waxed, and, after the courage-building-second, I ripped the strip of fabric. Oh, the PAIN! It ripped.my.stinking.skin.off -- and if the pain wasn't bad enough, there were STILL a few stray hairs there! The NERVE! My face was a very ugly shade of purpley-red. Yuck. And there were dots of blood everywhere. Nice.

Needless to say, I was NOT about to pull on any other strips of fabric randomly glued to my chin with wax. No. I.was.not. After all, I'm not an idiot [just shut it right now, lady]! So, my only other alternative? Patiently hold a hair dryer to my face while the wax re-softened, and apply warm (okay, HOT) compresses until the wax melted off. Furthermore, I had to pick off strings of sticky wax for a really long time. It was a late night.

So my feelings about waxing? NEVER AGAIN.

So you can formulate your own opinion about home-waxing, here is another crazy waxing story by MamaD (and really, I'm shocked that the pain hasn't changed her mind about waxing too). And then -- you've always got HolyMama's story about wanting an eyebrow wax and not having enough time for one. That's just weird. I wonder how she would feel if she waxed her own eyebrows? But, while you're there, can you give her some anniversary loving? Looks like she could use it!

Have a great day, and make a difference in someone's life today! Go ahead. I double-dawg dare ya!

21 comments:

momrn2 said...

Oh my goodness. Are you kidding? You poor, poor dear. Just reading your story has me cringing & writhing in pain. No wonder you are done with the whole waxing thing!

Oh man... I can't even imagine! *wimpering*

Kelli in the Mirror said...

Oh. Dreadful.

I'm with you on the chin hairs though. What is that about? I didn't sign up for those...

aggiejenn said...

I didn't have any luck with the home wax kits, either, but nothing compared to the torture you endured! I don't blame you for not wanting to wax. And, I hate chin hairs, too. I mean, what's the point of them, really? I'm not even 30 and I have to get rid of them often. I'll have to shave a full beard by the time I'm 50, I'm afraid. :-)

Heather Smith said...

Ow, ow, ow, yeah, I totally would never try it anyway, because I'm a total clutz, and I probably would turn into a complete disfigured freak if I ever did! I totally understand you feelings now1

Stacey said...

Oh that had to have hurt! I am way to chicken to try waxing at home or in a salon!!

Faith said...

OUCH!!! I just avoid anything that looks like a wax job!!

Angie said...

OUCHIE...that's all I got to say!

Shalee said...

I love the wax on, wax off idea. I've only done it a couple of times, but I love the results. But then I didn't try to take matters into my own hands...

Sorry that you had such a horrible experience, but hey! At least you got to blog about it. :) Always look on the bright side, GiBee...

Brony said...

Boy can I ever relate. I too had a waxing moment. Now I wax no more.

As for chin hairs, my husband thinks it's very amusing - glad I can give him something to laugh about. Me I try to pull them out as soon as they come.

Mama D said...

I was thinking this sounded remarkably familiar.

Of COURSE I haven't changed my mind. You should see my lovely underarms now. They are all healed up and hair free. I should take a follow up picture!

HolyMama! said...

i had no idea that there was a 'window of opportunity' for yanking off the strips! That sounds awful and painful. One time a lady made my eyebrow bleed. I wonder if she left it on too long...?

(can you imagine if i'd tried to wax my own eyebrows at home, right before leaving town, and then ended up like you and the hairdryer and the whole mess..?!)

(ps thanks for all the traffic, gibee!)

Susanne said...

Ow, ow, and ow. You'd have to knock me out cold with an anesthetic for me to let anyone do the wax thing on me. And me do a home job, nevah.

chickadee said...

that is so sad. oh i was cringing ad i read. i have never experienced it and thanks to you, i'm sure i never will now.

Tawnya said...

I think that would totally hurt for sure! Totally worth paying someone else to do it for you. You have reminded me that I need to get some help as well.

Super cute signature!

Barb said...

You know, I've seriously been thinking about hitting the local beauty supply store and trying this at home. But after reading this AND MamaD's horror story? I think not. I think I'll pay a professional. Boy am I glad I stopped by here today!

Anonymous said...

okay...Sbee here...had to respond to this after i finished laughing (mind you Gibee not laughing at you...laughing WITH you). See you reminded me of a trip I took with my father (who might I add, if anyone knows, is not very good with girls and girly stuff). Sooo, I too tried to do the home wax job on my legs (I was probably around 20), and I too decided to do my entire lower leg at once. Needless to say, it must have stayed on too long and after the first little strip that sent me screaming to daddy crying and asking him what I should do, i was not about to take the rest off. I never thought about the hair dryer, instead I used scalding hot water to melt the wax (and turned my skin a great shade of red in the process) to remove all of the wax and then still had to shave. So I feel your pain sis....I haven't tried it since then either.

GiBee said...

YAY! Another comment from a relative (my SIL)! SBee -- your poor Dad must have been mortified! I can just see him now! LOL!

Lauren said...

It sounds, I say this with the utmost of sympathy in my heart for you, a SNL scene. Oooooo, maybe they will read here and ask you on the show to reanact it. Say HI to Jane Curtain for me. (I haven't watched it in awhile)

Robin said...

Have you read the "waxing" story going around about a woman doing her own bikini line? This is a great version of that, in the northern hemisphere of the body. I tell ya, WHAT a woman goes through to stay "groomed"--YIKES! We don't EARN the title "Steel Magnolias" for nothing!

Carol said...

Oh dear. Okay. I'm not laughing. I promise.

I'm LYING!!!! I'm over here roaring!!!

Sorry, Iris. I know it wasn't at all funny at the time, but you just make it sound hilarious!

Oh my.

Morning Glory said...

Ow, ow, ow, ow, oooowwwwwe!!!!!