Friday, September 08, 2006

I Like Most Things Sanitary

Definition of Sanitary: free from filth and pathogens ("sanitary" conditions for preparing food; a "sanitary" washroom); A state of cleanliness; Concerned with and promoting hygiene, good health and the prevention of disease.

Yes ... I like most things sanitary. Sanitary toilet. Sanitary counters. Sanitary floors. Sanitary food preparation. In fact, you might be surprised at how many times the word "clean" actually appears in the Bible!

There are some un-sanitary things that drive me NUTS! I don't enjoy my son diving hands first into the dogs water or food bowls. EEYUCK! Not Sanitary. Nor do I enjoy watching the dog lick the skin off of my son. After he's had a bath. Blech! Totally not sanitary! And I despise watching ants march all over food, flies land on on food, or any bugs near food in general.

But there are some things that are sanitary that I do NOT like ... YES! It's true ... for instance ... I do NOT like it when a spare sanitary napkin (a pad) in a nice lime-green plastic wrapper, hidden neatly in my car for emergencies, falls out onto the parking lot at church. In front of the Pastor. Without me knowing. And ... he picks it up and tosses it back into the car. All the while laughing his batookus off. Oh, my ever loving heart be still ... I can't even believe that actually happened. It's totally NOT a sanitary thing I like. Yes, I know he has a wife and understands stuff like that... but that still doesn't make me feel any better ... I am mortified. Simply mortified. After all ... this man preaches God's Word to me from the pulpit for crying out loud. GAAH!

Yes, some things are better left un-known, if not un-sanitary.

Updated to add: I have had to go into this stinking post and re-edit it three times because evidently Blogger has decided to be all "smart" and change words without my knowledge... What's up with that?

19 comments:

Chappyswife said...

Gibee, I so needed a laugh this morning, and you did not disappoint! How funny. I'm sorry. That would be embarassing, but hey, sounds like he's got a good sense of humor! Now I am off to get caught up on your other posts, children willing.

kpjara said...

At least it wasn't a con&om! You crack me up! This was AWESOMENESS!

lrlwreath said...

I can barely type I am laughing so hard.... oh my.

Ok my story is when you just get out of the shower and are running around, Pastor comes to the door (unannounced) said boy holds door open as Mom has to dash into the bedroom to find clothes. Then walks out to talk to pastor with no bra on, and towel on head (I am sure there is a sin in there somewhere).....I was MORTIFED....

lrlwreath said...

I did have a shirt on, just no bra...did not make that clear...

MommieSunshine said...

I can feel your embarassment. I would've been traumatized and maybe even had to switch churches after that. LOL Thanks for the laugh this morning. That was so funny. Glad your pastor has a good sense of humor. =)

Shalee said...

Oh. My. See now, I bet a good eyebrow waxing looks pretty good right now... Simple and quick. No embarrassment - unless you're Holy Mama, of course.

kellygirl said...

Oh..mercy! I would have turned 4 shades of red and 2 shades of pink...in that order too! It would be hard to look him in the eye for a little while. I'm glad you can both laugh it off..great post!

Faith said...

Bahahahaha! oops, sorrry, but it is kinda funny! Ya know now that it's over with, right??

Kristen said...

Oh for the love of....that's awful! I'm posting an "embarassing moments" post today (not up yet). check back with me later and add it to the mister linky. This is too funny! ;-)

Morning Glory said...

There might be something good to say for the menopause stage of life after all, with the lack of need for those little "items".

Lauren said...

Third time that I'm trying to comment here, in the end it probably won't be worth it. But here goes...

So if I understand the post correctly, we're talking unused, right? So then what's the big, bahonken deal?


Bwahahahahahahaha!

(See, so not worth it.)

Susanne said...

Certain things just seem to happen to certain people don't they! At least it was wrapped?! Is that a bright side to this unsanitary tale? :D

GiBee said...

Oh, heavens Lauren ... OF COURSE it was unused!

Overwhelmed! said...

GiBee, this post made me laugh out loud! Too funny! Thanks for sharing!

Katrina said...

Oh my gosh, this was so funny. You lured me in with talk of cleanliness and then...bam! I was SO not expecting that little twist. I'm fairly certain I would die of embarassment if that happened to me.

Barb said...

I need to find out what kind of vitamins Lauren takes. She always has so much "comment energy."

I'll bet if we all did a most embarrassing moments post we'd all have to include at least one that involved this particular item.

Stacey said...

As long as this weekend when you show up at church he remembers to call you by your real name and not "Paddie" : )

The Imperfect Christian said...

Thank you for the laugh, I needed it this morning! How embarrassing, but how funny! At least he laughted and didn't get all red-faced about it!

Heather Smith said...

You are too funny. My pastor is also my GRANDPA, so I'd be mortified.