Friday, August 03, 2007

Here's Your Sign...

You know you're getting old when...

1) You want white cotton underwear. Not granny-panties, mind you ... but white, comfortable, cotton underwear by Fruit of the Loom, and without tags. There can't be any tags.

2) You want white cotton bras with underwire. Long gone are the days of Victoria Secret's fru-fru bras ... now, you just seek comfort, in an coolandcomfy, cottony, breathinthedeadofsummery, underwirey kind of way (because now ... underwire is an essential element to holdingupedness). Lightly padded, thankyouverymuch.

3) You look upon a person picking their hind end (in what he thinks is a deserted hallway) with sympathy instead of disdain or disgust, because you know he's uncomfortable (because you've been there), and you feel sorry for him, therefore, wanting him to be comfy.

4) You no longer enjoy dipping your fries in chocolate milkshakes as much as you once did, because you know what will heppen to your hips. And you care.

5) You wait for movies to come out on DVD, because for the life of you, you can't understand why anyone would pay over $10 for a movie ticket, and leave "empty handed," when they can pay $15 for a DVD, and own it forever.

6) If you must go to a movie, you make darn good and sure that it's a matinee (refer to number 5 for further explanation).

7) You'd rather have friends over for a quiet evening together (or to play a maddening game of Taboo), rather than go dancing ... or whatever young people do these days. What do young people do these days, anyway?

8) Bar crawl? What's that? It's been too long to remember. Besides ... you're a mom now, and all you have time to think about is ... Milk crawl.

9) Sleeping in late means waking up at 7:30, maybe 8:00... Oh, the days...

10) You turn the volume down on the car radio, the house radio, and the TV, but turn the volume up on the phones.

Have a blessed weekend ... and share some of Jesus' joy and love with someone! Really! You'll get more out of it than they will! Promise! Money back guarantee!

16 comments:

Kelli said...

Can you believe that we have a theatre in town that plays first run movies and matinées are only $2.50 a piece???

We've actually been twice this week. And we're going tonight to see The Bourne Ultimatum. $10.00. Four people.

It's a gosh darn miracle, I tell ya!

Jana (sidetrack'd) said...

These are so funny! Have a wonderful weekend!

Susanne said...

Not that you're speaking from experience right, just from whatever everybody else who's turned "old" has told you, right? ;v)

Too funny.

momrn2 said...

So does it mean you are past the getting old and are old when:

You no longer even care about the underwire. You just want comfort plain and simple. AND Sleeping in doesn't even extend until as late as 7:30... you think making it until 7 is late. (And you are a natural night owl)

Not that either of these apply or anything... I'm just saying...

Barb said...

Oh man. SIX of these apply to me. I'm not telling you which six though. It's mortifying enough that SIX of them absolutely apply to me and have for a long, long time. Sigh....

Thanks, GiBee. I'm going back to bed now.

Molly Coddled said...

Are you saying what I think you're saying? Are you seriously calling me OLD!? Maybe I am. What's your point?

(You can't fool me, I know you read these somewhere. You aren't old enough to know any of this stuff.)

Stacey said...

I think you got this one just right! It's sad to think about getting old.

I want to go to Kelli's theater. Man, we can't even rent movies that cheap around here!

Chappyswife said...

Yes, as Susanne said, that's I've HEARD that it's like to get older, because, mmmhhmm, I wouldn't know or anything.

Oh, who am I kidding? These are right on the money!

Linda said...

I have seen your name so often on the blogs I visit and thought I would finally get here to see you. I'm so glad you did. What a fun post!! I can absolutley identify. Just give me comfort any day.
Congratulations on your award!!

ValleyGirl said...

SO true!! So far I haven't been able to convince myself that any of these are BAD things, though!! I guess I'm rebelling against growing old by using a bit of denial...

Grace said...

Oh no - I'm officially old!

Southern Mom said...

Soo true!! Now I feel old.

melody is slurping life said...

Oh shoot...I'm old. But happy. :)

Queen Of My Domain said...

I can relate to these on so many levels. What a laugh!

Kathleen Marie said...

Wow, if you had interviewed me the answers would have been the same!

Ha! Well, I am over....years old now.

Hugs!

Heather Smith said...

I'm totally not getting old, but I totally did have to buy the comfortable undies the other week because my pregnant belly just did not agree with the fru-fru! And as for the underwire, well it's been my friend since I went above a "C" which was longer ago than I can remember. Let me just say anyone who says that having more up there is a blessing is more than welcome to take a donation from my overabundantly blessed area! Sorry, just had to get that out!