Saturday, August 18, 2007

Why F@t Chix Shouldn't Run...

Because when they fall, they fall hard.

And it hurts.

For a long time.

And it's embarrassing.

Especially when they BOUNCE. OH YEAH. For real.

Unless, of course, said fat chix is chasing after her son who pulled out of said fat chix hand, and is now darting into a street with an on-coming SUV headed right for child, and the child is hidden by a parked pickup truck, and the oncoming SUV can't see the hidden child in their direct path, and said fat chix totally freaks out, sees child's life flash before her eyes, runs after child to grab him, steps on his foot, is propelled into air, lands on knee and hands with a big and sickening smacking sound, bounces back up a bit, rolls flat, and turns around screaming the child's name like a mad woman. Who bounces. Hard. In front of all the horrified neighbors having a community yard sale ... oh, AND all the people shopping at said yard sales. And she also tripped her child, made him fall, skeered him to death, but stopped on-coming traffic with flashing key-lime green crocs flailing in the air.

It was an exhausting 3 minutes, and it took a while for the shock to wear off.

But other than a swollen knee, bruises on knee, hands, and elbow, twisted ankle, sore shoulders and arms and a stopped heart ... fat chix okay. Boy is oblivious. Life is grand.

14 comments:

Sheri said...

YIKES!! Glad you and kiddo are okay! (Well relatively okay)

Kelli said...

Those scabs are Badges of Honor, my dear.

Without question.

chilihead said...

OK, you wrote this in such a way that it was funny. And then the reality of what COULD have happened sets in and a collective sigh of relief was heard around the world.

rohanknitter said...

Goodness! Scary!
Now you'll really be wanting that vacation!

Molly Coddled said...

Oooooooohh, I am so sorry!

See that's the exact reason I always wear a helmet and knee/elbow pads daily. On an unusually rough day I even wear them to bed. Mothering is a tough job.

Susanne said...

Oh dear! Being a mom hurts sometimes. Ouch. I prescribe a day at the spa with a nice massage to get over that one.

I always wondered why them crocs came in so many bright neon colors. Now I know it's to literally stop traffic.

aggiejenn@ReflectingHim said...

Oh my goodness! I'm glad you weren't hurt too terribly and that the little one is okay!! They just don't know what can happen when they wiggle out of our hands. Hope you're feeling better soon.

Shalee said...

That is a moment you will treasure for years to come, GiBee. Take some ibuprofen (with wine of course) for the pain and give prayers of thanks for your quick thinking and falling and oblivious son.

Way to go Mama... Way to go.

Jana (sidetrack'd) said...

Oh goodness. Glad you are both okay.

Beth/Mom2TwoVikings said...

Aw, honey! The important thing is that you two are all right! ((hugs))

melody is slurping life said...

So happy you are both safe. Now follow Shalee's above advice which is mine..."ibuprofen with wine".

Angela said...

Take care of those scrapes and bruises ... I am so glad that you and your child are ok. God had his hand on the situation.

What a beautiful place for you to spend your vacation... the house and the beach looks like something out of a movie.

May your new week be filled with much laughter and love.

melody is slurping life said...

BTW, I've chosen to give you a little award which you may have already received. If so, there's no need to bow again. :)

Just click my link.

Barb @ A Chelsea Morning said...

I agree with Chilihead. When I realized I was laughing, I thought about what could have happened. I'm sorry you fell and it was all so painful (and embarrassing) but my word what could have happened is unthinkable.