Monday, October 08, 2007

Peace like a Soft, Warm Blanket on a Cold, Cold Day

First, I just wanted to thank everyone for their beautiful comments on Hunter's birthday. You can't imagine the blessing they were to us!

Then, I wanted to share with you that something is ... "off." As in, not quite right. See if you can figure out what's "off" ... The day is beautiful, the sky is gorgeous, it's a brisk 91 degrees, the leaves are turning beautiful shades of yellow, orange and red, the wind is rustling "just so." It's almost a perfect day.

Have you figured out what's off?

Well, if you guessed that it's a gazillion degrees HOT outside, you're right. It's OCTOBER for crying out loud, and it's HOT HOT HOT all across the nation! All I have to say is ... Wednesday's cool-down can't get here fast enough! There's nothing worse than enjoying the fall foliage while sweating like a pig. Those are NOT fond fall memories, I tell you!

Moving on to more serious things... if I've learned anything over the past few months, it's been to place my child's health in God's hands. When a person has battled infertility for so long, has experienced so many highs and lows, and finally has the precious gift of life in their hands, you tend to run to the doctor with any hiccup, burp, cough, or sneeze. Why? Because in the back of your mind, you have the sense that the precious life you hold is so fragile that it can be taken from you at any moment. After all, we are not promised tomorrow, and we are not promised that everything will turn out perfectly.

Having said that, I can honestly say that it's not always easy to be calm and at peace with our child's health. My husband is much, MUCH better at it than me. Trust me, when our child develops a bump and/or a bruise, I've learned to restrain myself and not run to the doctor for an x-ray and a blood workup. After all, what child won't have bumps and bruises? And seriously... how stupid do I want to look?

So, when our child developed a bump and bruise under his belly button ... TWO MONTHS AGO, we didn't think anything of it. And when I took him for his two year check up today, I didn't think anything of it. I mentioned it, of course, but I was more concerned about how he was freaking out at every move the doctor made towards him (a result of all the blood work he's had over the past few weeks).

So when she began feeling it, and freaking my child out even more, I didn't worry. Because the look on her face gave nothing away. And when she said, "He needs to go see a pediatric surgeon about this" ... still, no worry. Peace. That's all I felt.

She said it could be a hernia, but she didn't feel a hole, which is typical of a hernia (where the intestines or anything else would push through and protrude). She said it was more probable that it was a small fatty tumor with blood vessels, but not cancerous because it wasn't hard -- it was soft. She named it a "bluish mass on abdomen" and referred me to a surgeon at Children's Hospital. Still -- no worries. Peace.

Why? Why wouldn't I be even the slightest bit stressed out about this news? Why am I more stressed out about the 90-degree weather we're experiencing than I am about my son's health? Well, it could have a WHOLE LOT to do with that chocolate covered donut I ate after I got the news... but I highly doubt it.

I'm convinced ... In fact, I know ... that it has everything to do with this scripture that has been revolving around my head over the past few days...

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

John 14:27 (NIV)

You see, we were not left with the kind of peace that the world gives. We were left with God's peace. Ultimate peace ... the kind of peace that is total, and fully encompassing ... the kind that is wrapped around our shoulders like a soft, warm blanket on a cold, cold day ... the kind that's given to us by the Holy Spirit ... ever so gently ... so that we won't be troubled or afraid. I really think the Holy Spirit placed this scripture in my head this past week, preparing me for what the doctor would say.

I know my husband is probably sitting back and chuckling as he reads this, because he knows me so well. Any little bump, bruise, cough, ache or pain that I get, I go running to the doctor (the Google doctor, that is) thinking I'm dying of some incurable disease, cancer, or insufferable sickness. I fret. I worry. In fact, I do it so well, that he never needs to worry. He knows I'll do enough for the both of us.

But today, when she told me what she thought was wrong with Hunter, I didn't really feel that despondent feeling of worry. Not a drop of anxiety. Not even that gut-wrenching-Lordwhatshappeningtomychild feeling ... it never reared its ugly face! And as the day wore on, as appointments were made, as explanations were given to my boss, as I emailed the news to my family, as I explained it to my friends ... never a moment of worry crossed my mind. Just a quiet sense of peace that no matter what the outcome is, God will be with us each step of the way.

God is such a big God. He is awesome, he is faithful, and he delivers! He delivers in a very big way. If you're facing worrisome results, troublesome illnesses, difficult jobs or even rocky marriages and family problems, let me pass on a little secret to you... you don't have to "do it alone..." God will "do it with you," and he will give you peace in the process.

"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."

Philippians 4:7 (The Message)

And that, my friends ... is all I have to say about that! ;-)


Org Junkie said...

Hi Gibee, first of all Happy Belated Birthday to Hunter! When my middle son (who is now 8) was 2 years old it was discovered quite by accident that he had a tumor (otherwise known as his blob) on his liver full of blood vessels. They actually told me they were 90% positive it was cancerous. Two months later we got in for a biopsy and praise God it is just a blob that will eventually just go away on its own. I just wanted to share with you a positive story and hope it is an encouragement to you.

Your strength in the scriptures is awesome!!!

Kelli said...

What a great perspective. I'm praying for all of you.

Susanne said...

I love how God prepared your heart and how you are resting in His peace with this. My youngest developed a hernia by her belly button before she was a year and had to have surgery. It is a very easy surgery and even today you can't see the teeny little scar it left. She's been none worse for the wear of it. Praying for little Hunter! And for con't peace for you!

krista said...

funny. thought i was the only one that thinks something is always wrong with me....if anything, it gives my husband a good laugh. : )

LvlyRita said...

Fear is a funny thing. What we don't know is often more worrisome than the answers and solution. When we are in the dark the devil scares us with thoughts of the worst of the worst case scenario.

When I was getting some devastating news from a doctor, all that kept me together was "I will lift up my eyes to the hills, from which comes my help." And there were hills in the distance, looking out from the hospital window.

The peace God gives us is intangible but much stronger than the lies whispered to us in the dark.

It's not always easy to put scripture into practice, but it sure is wonderful to see it in action. "Do not worry..." "I am the light of the world," "I know the plans I have for you..." Hope that all made sense. I could really write a book just on this idea.

baby~amore' said...

how inspiring ...the scriptures bring reasurance and comfort.I agree your strength and faith in God is awesome.

"My God will supply all your needs according to His riches in Glory (Phil 4:19) He has promised that if we trust Him and ask according to His will, we will have what we asked (1 John 5:14-15) – perfect solutions for impossible situations because He is the God of the impossible and with Him all things are possible (Mark 9:23 & 10:27)". (not mine I found it somewhere)

Oh I wish Hunter a belated birthday too !

We waited a 14yrs for our miracle baby too but she passed away when I was 26 weeks pregnant ...then we were blessed by the birth of twins in 2006 (via IVF)less than 2 yrs later. I freak out with worry too over everything. Hey it normal even for Christians mummies to worry.
Take care I will keep Hunter & you in my thoughts and prayers.

Beth/Mom2TwoVikings said...

Aw, are such an inspiration. Having faced similar struggles in actually getting the Vikings here (LOL), I find myself a "worrier" as well. Good for you for leaning on Him - you're an example I hope to follow!

Heather Smith said...

Beautiful post, GiBee! I'm so glad I have that source of peace for whatever storm life may bring!
And a belated happy birthday to Hunter!

Diane said...

Hey! We go to the same Doctor (Dr. Google!). You are in good company with the rest of the nuerotics who visit his/her office! I, too, am prone to having just a little flare up and self-diagnosing a huge problem. And with my children, I am are you!

How wonderful to feel God's rest in His comfort and assurance that He is your son's GREAT healer.

Way to go! Way to listen to His word found in Scripture...and thanks for sharing His voice....throughout cyberspace!

May God continue to bless your family with peace....and a quick recovery should surgery be necessary.


Tammy and Parker said...

I could really use a bit of that kind of peace today.

Shalee said...

Well, personally, I don't think you could say it any better tha!n that. Praying for you and your sweet baby.

Molly Coddled said...

You my friend are a great example of walking by faith, thank you! Praying for ya, sweetie.

Jami said...

Praying for your family!!! ***hugs*** <3 Jami