There are mornings when I wake up, like today, and my heart feels like it's stuck in my throat. I want nothing more than to be a "Stay At Home Mom" (SAHM). Days like today can easily bring me to tears as I desire so much to be at home raising my son, and a momentary state of emotional weakness overcomes me as I look at our current needs and see that there is no way I can possibly stay home... right now. And then, I'm also battling with work. I have applied for various positions that would possibly allow me to work from home on a part-time basis, but nothing seems to be firming up for me.
As I was walking through my work place (on my way to get a desperately needed cup of coffee), I began to pray... "Lord, you know my heart's desire, and you know our needs. I know full well that your timing is not always mine, but is always perfect, and I know that you can provide me with the peace I need to get through the day without an all-consuming cloud of depression settling in over me. Lord, place me where you want me to be right now."
Then, a chorus was placed in my heart. It's a chorus we've sung at Women of Faith conferences, and I know I have the CD somewhere... it's also a scripture... and I think it's awesome how sometimes God will place a song in my heart that is the exact scripture I need to hear!
Your Grace is Sufficient
by Martin Nystrom
Your grace is sufficient for me.
Your strength is made perfect,
When I am weak.
All that I cling to I lay at Your feet.
Your grace is sufficient for me.
I've been humming this chorus and singing the words (but not out loud of course ... just in my head) all morning, and all ready, I can feel Christ's strength moving in on my moment of weakness. I am clinging to my desire of being a SAHM right now, but I am laying it at Christ's feet, and HIS strength, and HIS grace is more than sufficient for me.
And really, I know this, but I just need to be reminded. Again, and again, and again. In fact, Momrn2's story of how she struggled with the very same issue, and how God came through for her and WOW'd her with a "New Way of Living" keeps me going, because I know that he will WOW me too. It may not be today. It might not be tomorrow, or in a month, or even a year... but he.will.wow.me. with the perfect solution to my desires, and in his perfect timing.
Now, Lord ... can we talk about this dark, dreary, cold, rainy day? How about poking some rays of sun through those clouds?
"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
His Grace is Sufficient
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19 comments:
Oh Gibee: I can so relate and empathize with your feelings on this! God will show you a way! And His timing will be perfect! I had specific ideas on how I wanted God to answer that prayer but what He brought was better even though I didn't see that in the beginning. Be open to what He would bring you and show you.
Wonderful post...I was blessed by it! And I agree with Susanne...keep praying, and God will open a door! And give you peace in the meantime!
Yet another reason that we are kindred spirits, separated by 1,500 miles. Thank you for the great reminder that His grace is sufficient, no matter where I am. It also reminds me to petition God for direction and contentment as I'm waiting to be Wow'd. As I commit my spirit to that desire, I find lots of little wows along the way.
I've got to find that song...
Beautiful post Gibee! I too had the same desire as you when my daughter was born 9 years ago and then again with my son 7 years ago and it was not meant to be and I was sad and didn't understand. Then last year I got pregnant again (surprise 6 years after my last) and my desire was still there. Wouldn't you believe it, the Company I worked for shut down and offered big severance pkgs. God has blessed me richly in his timing. I would never have believed nine years ago that any of this was in my future. I didn't believe we were going to have more children and I certainly didn't think the Company would have closed their doors. My older two kids are loving being able to come home for lunch and have me there for them after school especially. Praise God!
Great post! I don't have kids, but I do have things my heart desires for and every now and then God needs to remind me that His grace is sufficient! Thanks for the reminder GiBee, and thanks for being so open and honest!
And about your comment on my funny site, no that isn't the low dress! I had changed to sing. It was like the dress that the other girls are wearing but different colors, but because I am "cursed" the dress was much lower on me, though my grandma was able to work wonders with it, and the girl decided to use the straps, so I worried for no reason! Sorry to leave this here, but I'm having trouble w/ e-mail, did you get the link to the picture site I sent? If you don't mind e-mail me and let me know, I don't know what's up with it!
I understand so well how you feel. I work part time, but still have that nagging, painful desire to be at home with my kids when I'm here. But it's not possible for us, either.
Keep that song in your head and your heart. It will work out for you in HIS time. In the meantime, keep massive amounts of pictures of your son at your desk and call a million times a day to hear his voice. That's what I do. :-)
or one of my favorites:
“For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”
Ephesians 3:14-21
Rest in HIS truth today friend...I'm right there with you just in another way!
I remember when we first took that step of faith and I quit my job. It's tough to know what God has planned but we just have to trust that He'll take care of us! I'll say a prayer for you today that you'll be able to stay home soon!!
BTW, I mentioned you on my blog today. I hope you don't mind : )
That was a wonderful song. God will be faithful and answer your prayers in ways that you can't even imagine. He definitely cares about the desires of your heart.
Oh my dear friend, You know I am praying for you!!
Although God did choose to "wow" me, it took 18 months of praying, seeking, searching, and trusting. Although my biggest desire was to be a 100% SAHM, I am very content with part time.
Guess what the greatest "wow" of all was? ...My heart has changed in the process. I am not "there" yet, but feel I can see a bit clearer.
Continue to look to Jesus. No, never mind, cling to Him for dear life. And, never let your heart be afraid... to be changed with His molding!
Love You Friend!!!!!! Hugs and Prayers!!!!...
I can so relate to you. I have struggled with this issue for many years. I have a huge desire in my heart to be a SAHM, yet that is currently not an option right now. Somedays I struggle with this more than others. I know being a SAHM is not a walk in the park either. A quote I have on my computer at work helps me. I'll share it with you. "May today there be peace withing. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content knowing that you are a child of God." I'd love to talk with you more about this. A support system would help me so much. Sometimes I feel like the only Christian mother who works!
I'm so sorry you're having to struggle with these feelings right now...I know that the Lord is doing things for you as we speak, unfortunately, like you said, it's on his timing.
Wonderful post, and thank you for the great reminder that His Grace is sufficient. I need to go find that song :)
There's a song from Mercyme called "Bring the Rain", it's by far one of my favorites, you should listen to it, I think you would enjoy the words.
A part of the chorus that most gets to me is:
*And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain*
Will be praying for you :)
Sandra
Oh Gibee - I so needed this reminder! I've been struggling so much with where I live, where I want to live, and when this house will sell, and when will we have our new house. My list seems to be endless. I spent sometime yesterday during my quiet time and praying about it but it's a daily struggle.
I know the phrase goes..."it's on God's time schedule, not mine" but I have such a hard time applying it.
My prayers are with you and yes "His grace is sufficient" thanks again for the reminder.
Praying right now for you, sweet friend. I love the lyrics to the following song, and I am praying them for you as I type. May He hold you close to His side today.
God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way He will make a way
By a roadway in the wilderness
He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His word will still remain
He will do something new today.
Thank you all for your wonderful comments. They have all touched me deeply. It is good to know that I have friends praying for me!
Yes -- God WILL make a way, when there seems to be no way!
You know, my Sweet Girl is 6 years old and I went back to full time work when she was 3 months old. I've always wanted to be a SAHM, but I just never could. I SO empathize with your feelings! At the same time, though, since I couldn't be home, I embraced learing all that I could about my job, company, etc and it opened wonderful doors for me that gave me better jobs, more freedom and more chances to be flexible with my schedule. The thing I learned from that - and that I can see you've learned too - is that if we are faithful where we're planted, God will always bring the best for us there instead of leaving us pining for something we can't have. Does that make sense?
GiBee, I pray that God provides a way for you to be at home soon. Things can look utterly impossible one day, then completely different the next. Don't give up. It will work out and probably in a way that you'd never expect.
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