Comments... and such

A week of Gentleness:

Post 1 -- Post 2 -- Post 3 -- Post 4

As we reflected this past week on being gentle, several of you have left some really good comments that I wanted to highlight.

Christine from Serenity How? said:

"As Christians, we really need to hold OURSELVES to a higher standard,

not just other Christians."

GiBee's Take: Absolutely! In the grand scheme of things... I'm held accountable for MY actions. Further, how can I be a witness if my own standards aren't patterned after Jesus' standards? Great comment, Christine!

Susanne from Living to tell the Story said:

"In this blog world it is way too easy to let ungentleness and unkindness surface under a measure of anonymity."

GiBee's Take: Well said, Susanne! It's so true -- there is a certain "veil of anonymity" in the blogosphere that gives us a sense of security and a level of comfort which allows us (including me!) to take too many liberties. I guess when we sit down to pound out a post, or to leave a comment, we should keep this in mind -- Jesus saying: "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:35

Koryn from Mother's Precious Gems said:

"I am a mom of four teenagers. All born in five years time! Now, those were some very stressful 10 years! I look back with a bit of sadness as I remember yelling a lot and screaming and being grumpy many many times. God brought a lovely neighbor into the duplex we lived in who had three small children but was always so kind and loving and warm towards her kids. That great example showed me that I was certainly not being the kind of mommy He would have me to be. The tongue, who can tame it? God can! It is so destructful. But it can also be the greatest blessing. Now, these teen years are such a sweet time with our kids and they are proud to say they have a home free of fights and yelling.

Thankfully I do not think they remember the type of mom I was when they were little."

GiBee's Take: Words of wisdom, Koryn! How true, that our tongue can be so destructive! I appreciate that she pointed out that while at one time she was convicted of not being the mommy God would have had her be (with respects to how she spoke to her kids), she took steps to change that, and now, her kids are ... "proud to say they have a home free of fights and yelling." That's AWESOME! Imagine the stress that raised voices causes our kids? I've noticed even with Hunter that if Dan and I are having a disagreement and raise our voices, it aggravates him (Hunter) and he begins to say, "Mommy, Daddy, Mommy, Daddy" as if to say: "Cool it you two!" So, don't wait until your kids are older... start speaking gently now! Food to think about, Koryn!

Another thought: Koryn mentioned to me the fact that her kids don't remember the mom she was when they were little. Praise God that he has cleared their memories and they will grow up remembering her great, patient, kind and gentle mothering skills! God is so good! He is in the work of restoration!!!

My sweet Real-time friend, LvlyRita from Good Things said:

"Even when discussing our husbands with our friends, I try to keep it as funny stories, not complaints or whining gossip.

Hmm, is it possible to gossip about our husbands?"

GiBee's Take: What, are you CRAZY? Of COURSE it's okay for us to talk bad and complain about our husbands! Oh, I'm KIDDING... I can't even pull that off as a joke.

She is so, SO right... it IS possible to gossip about our husbands, and that only serves to break our trust-relationship we have built. I appreciate the fact that she pointed out that when talking about her husband, she tries to keep it to generic funny stories, and tries not to complain or whine and gossip about him. One thing to know about Rita -- her husband is an Associate Pastor at our church -- they are both actively involved in our worship ministry. Talk about putting pressure on a relationship! They are being watched by everyone in our church, and that alone puts added strain on daily life... but think about this lovely gift she has offered her husband ... one we can ALL offer our husbands -- to give them the sense of security and let the know that they can place their trust in us, and... KNOW that we will never bash them in public! Ladies, please -- always, always uphold your husband. Always talk good about him. Even if there is a ton of bad stuff -- don't share it! Go by the old adage... if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Yes, I know there are times when you may be frustrated, exasperated, and want to rip him a new one (ummmm, lovingly and gently, that is). But -- instead of bad mouthing him, might I suggest taking him to the Lord in prayer? Yup -- PRAY for him. Then, pray for yourself that God will soften your heart towards him and help you be a cheerful, loving, gentle and supportive wife, no matter what. I know it sounds so "old fashioned" but, it works! Besides, I don't know about you, but I think I've said this before -- when I hear a woman bad mouthing her husband, two things happen: first, I feel sorry for the husband; second, I find that I shy away from friendships like that, because if she's bad mouthing her husband, she'll bad mouth me. Harsh? Maybe. Safe? Yes. Thanks for your great insight, LvlyRita!

I hope you all did well being gentle last week, and I pray you continue on through this week. I know I had a few trying bumps over the weekend, but my husband would sweetly remind me... "be gentle, honey." remember: It takes about two weeks to form a habit, so don't stop now!