Tuesday, September 29, 2009

What a Discovery!

Hold the phone!

I think I've made an earth-shattering, mind-blowing discovery.

In fact, I’m certain that NO ONE has ever connected the dots and these thoughts are original and come after years and years of my own proven scientific research. Therefore, I present to you, that these findings should be published in the New England Medical Journal of Medicine… by me, GiBee, Google Doctor of Medicine!

Ehem. Here it goes…

Aspartame is addictive.

Silence… crickets chirping…

Okay. Maybe I didn't say it loud enough…


Or maybe GiBee has an addictive personality? Sadly, that could very well be!

Anyway, at first, I thought it was Diet Coke that was addictive. I blamed it all on the caffeine in the soda. I couldn't go one day without the stuff, and if I did, I’d be jonesing like a junkie trying to catch a score. Or score a catch. Or something like that.

But for numerous reasons that will remain unpublished, after I had my Gal Bladder removed, I found that I was no longer able to tolerate caffeine. It came to a head when I had my ankle surgery and had to rely on easy-to-fix-and-carry drinks (like a bottle of water).

Have I mentioned how much I hate water? Yeah. I know its good for you, but I still hate it.

In comes Crystal Light on-the-go packets. Oh, my word. What a revolutionary twist for water. I know I’m slow on this, but as I mentioned before… I was addicted to diet coke.

Then I discovered that I no longer needed caffeine to function, but now I find that I consume vast, VAST quantities of … Crystal Light, which has no caffeine. Just Aspartame.



But I’d say it’s pretty suspicious, wouldn't you?

Oh, all right - so maybe I'm not the first to discover this... but for heavens sake! I think manufacturers put it in their product on purpose!

I need to detox.


Julie said...

Aspartame also puts holes in your brain. You really should give it up.

: )

Susanne said...

I absolutely do think it's addictive. My hubby used to drink tons of the stuff and developed a huge allergy to it.