Tuesday, March 21, 2006

A Whole Lot of Nothingness

Just because I own an awesome sewing machine, it does NOT mean I can sew. And, even though I have managed a few straight-lined stitches to make a few window treatments ... I still can't sew. So when my daycare provider approached me several weeks ago (notice I said several weeks ago) and asked if I could make a sheet for her 40 x 40 playpen, I should have known better... but what pops out of my mouth? "Yes, I can give it a try!"

What was I thinking? Just because I love her, and all ... doesn't mean I can help out here! Any way, she told me several weeks ago that she needed it by tomorrow -- TOMORROW -- because she's renewing her license, and needed to cover the custom mattress she has for this particular 40 x 40 playpen... the one my son sleeps on. Oh, so just rub it in, why don't you? Of course, I'll help!

So, that was supposed to be my project for this weekend -- my only FREE weekend in the past month. But, well ... you know what happened, and my plans to create a lovely mattress cover soon vanished. So, last night, I ran to the fabric store. I purchased three cute patterned fabrics, one quilted fabric, and a length of waterproof fabric. Now -- remember what I said earlier -- just 'cause you have a sewing machine, doesn't mean you can sew. Right? Well, just because you can go to the fabric shop, pick out lovely fabrics, elastic, and make it home in one piece still does not mean you can sew.

And, when you sit down at the sewing machine at 8:30 p.m. trying to "whip out a small 42 x 42 sheet in no time" ... you can pretty much expect time to slow to the speed of a 300 year old sea turtle.

I think I go on line and see if I can't find one that I can just purchase for her, daggon it!

Sooooo -- as I was busily trying to "create" last night, I had asked my husband to care for OUR son. Not mine, OURS. He was holding him, when Hunter got fussy, and I said, "honey, why don't you talk to him! He likes that!" Yeah, well ... here are a couple of little conversations I overheard (which may lead me to a SILENCE RULE):

1) "Son, the square root of 144 is 12, because you can multiply 12 times 12 and get 144. Now, if you plant the square root of 144 in your garden, you won't get anything. Unless you water it. Then, you'll get wet numbers. And if you fertilize them, you'll get wet and stinky numbers." (my comment from the other room: Honey, what in the world are you talking about? Never mind... you're talking. That's all that matters.)

2) "Hey, let's look out front and see if Mr. Gary and Mr. Mike are in their driveways talking. We can throw sticks at them and then run in and hide in the house -- uh, never mind. Forget you heard that. Mom would be mad if she knew I was teaching you something bad." (my comment from the other room: Uh, YA THINK? Why don't you go give him a bath?)

3) At this point, I have no idea what he was talking about with our son, because I only heard his voice, and no particular words, but when I went up and asked him what he was saying to Hunter in the bathroom, he said, "Uh, GUY things... can't share them with you... sheesh, what do you think ... that I'm going to tell you ALL our secrets?" (my comment: Yeah, buster, you keep thinking that, but my son will run to me and spill ALL your secrets when he gets older... guaranteed. Especially Christmas and Birthday gifts! Just remember that!)

See? It's not only children that make no sense at all. It's men, too!

Confession time again: I did NOT go in to work today. I know I said I was going to, but Hunter is still sick, I was nauseated, and so was my husband. So, I had to call my boss tonight and tell him I won't be in tomorrow, either... AGAIN. But, I missed him at work, so I tried him at home, and his wife said he wasn't home yet ... Hmmm ... HIS WIFE! Yeeeesss ... the wheels in my brain go round and round. Round and round, Round and Round... So I filled HER in on everything. She knew exactly what I was dealing with. She told me her sister just had that with her niece three weeks ago, and she would explain in detail to her husband so he would understand.

Wasn't that nice of her?

Wasn't that manipulative of me?

Beats getting fired for missing 5 or 6 days of work in a row!

Okay -- gotta go lay down. Have a great evening.


Lauren said...

Ya know, this thing sounds pretty bad and it lasts really long too. I'm rethinking my offer to clean up the rotomess. The offer still stands for the regular vomit though. 'k?

Perri said...

I hope you guys are all over it soon. That was funny about puking out the false teeth though.

momrn2 said...

I'll be totally honest. I'm glad you didn't work today and aren't working tomorrow. You deserve some extra time to rest!

Hey, how did the sheets turn out anyway? Did they work well enough for the daycare lady to renew her license? Or did you end up having to purhcase something?

Continue to rest and get better friend!

Chaotic Mom said...

I ended up sewing a dress for a lady, same kind of thing. And about ALL I do is straight lines. She was at her wits end, though. Larger than the pattern, so I had to "alter" it. With a nicely made fabric flower to hide the nasty job on the end of the zipper? We were done. It was her MAID OF HONOR dress for her sister's wedding, ugh...

And what is it with MEN? DS3 fell and bumped his head two days ago, I literally watched his forehead bouce off the pavement. So I'm sick to my stomach, watching him like a hawk for change in pupils, nausea. A teacher asked me if his behavior had changed any. I told him that after the crying, he started communicating better than he had in WEEKS! We agreed, maybe all men need a little kick in the head to start communicating... ;)

Stacey said...

You never said how the sheets turned out? Will they work? Did they fit?

Kristen said...

Love the conversations your husband had with your son. Sounds like a conversation my husband would have with my girls. Men are funny...is that the right word??

Stay home til you feel allll better. Boss should understand. And very, very, smart to talk to the wife.

kpjara said...

did you get that thing done yet? No pressure or anything...teehee...
send a picture k? No I'm NOT checking up on you...just want to see what 42 x 42 looks like on a blog.

Faith said...

I hope y'all are better soon. So, did you finish the sheet, or what? I have a great sewing machine too. I can't sew either!

Chilihead2 said...

I always think I can sew and then I try and realize I can't. And then I talk to Shannon (@ Rocks in My Dryer) and she convinces me I can. So I try again and I am pleased. Then she shows me what SHE makes and I realize I can't. :D

LOL at the square roots. I found that completely hilarious. Love it.

Morning Glory said...

What about the sheets? What about the sheets? Update, please.

BTW, it was lovely to have you in my blog today. It's a good sign you're coming back to the land of the living and away from the dreaded R-virus.

March St. Ives said...

I was reading Partners in Prayer for our prodigals journal. From there I clicked onto yours. Just wanted to say hello since I read your post. How'd the sheet turn out? or did you end up buying one instead.

GiBee said...

Lauren -- next time I have regular vomit, I'll give you a call!!

Perri - The false teeth went into the gallon sized ziploc bag. Good and safe place for them!

MomRN2 - I'm staying home tomorrow, too... hopefully, I'll be able to rest while Hunter naps. Thanks for the good thoughts!

Momma M -- YOU are a BRAVER woman than me!!!! You go, girl!!

Stacey -- Sadly, it's a lost cause for the sheets! Thanks for visiting!

Kristen -- Men are not only funny, but weird, smelly, loud, smelly, rude, smelly ... sigh. The list could go on, and on, and on!

Kim -- pressure? No pressure -- can you care for Hunter if our Daycare lady's license is revoked?

Faith -- yet another thing the two of us have in common!

Chilihead2 -- yeah -- did you see the pillow cases she makes for her kids? For EVERY holiday and season?!? Man -- she just has too much time on her hands! And, just so you know... I'm jealous that you live that close to Shannon! Poor thing's sunnin' her buns in Florida, and we're sitting here talking 'bout her! Hehehehehe!

Morning Glory -- You are just as sweet as they come! I'm coming back, just slowly!

March St. Ives -- Hey! Welcome to Kisses of Sunshine! Thanks for saying Hi!!! I'll catch up with you tomorrow...