He was there from the beginning

Okay ... I just ran down, grabbed my very sweet, very warm cup of cream with a splash of coffee, my beloved everything bagel (mmmm - a girl needs her salt every now and then) with cream cheese and have returned to my computer so that I may jot down all these things floating in my head right now -- and you might want to get your own cup of coffee, because it may be a long post ... after all, there's a lot of room up in my head ... so ... excuse me if I speak with my mouth full.

It all started (these thoughts in my head) when I read a couple of posts -- and if you haven't seen them yet, you really must take a few minutes to read them so that you understand where I'm coming from. One post was from yesterday, in fact, it's a video clip, and you need sound to appreciate it, because the actual video means nothing without the story behind it. Trust me, I know. So go over to Lauren's Blog and have a look-see... just make sure you come back...

Now, the other posts that really struck me hard were found on momRN2's Blog... she did three amazing posts on her beautiful daughter, which they lovingly (and with God's grace can) refer to as Turnip ... remember ... it's a three-parter ... so start here with Part 1 ... then go here for Part 2 ... then go here for Part 3 ... Do I need to remind you to come back?

These women are just two of the many wonderful Christian blogs I read... and love. And they really get me thinking. Hard. Which can be exhausting... for me anyway ... because that usually means I'm UP ALL NIGHT thinking. Like last night. Thanks, ladies!

When I saw the video on Lauren's blog, I had the volume muted, and I just didn't get it (duh! it's a vi-deee-ooo). So I had to watch it again. And then, I re-watched (or rather, re-listened). Then, I started thinking about it. It must have been a segment that was distributed widely, because all day, I have heard people all around me (including our local Christian radio station) talking about it... (or ... they could all be reading Lauren's blog - which is a distinct possibility). Any way, the comments I've heard all range from how brave the young man was, to how brave the coach was, to how inspiring this young man is.

Yes. I got that too. But as I commented in Lauren's blog, the thing that struck me the most was the parents and how proud and happy they must be for their son. Now, you may be scratching your head, and saying to your self, "huh?" -- well, just hang with me for a second. It all started with momRN2's posts about her daughter. She just opened her heart to us and shared God's miracle of life, and all the struggles she experiences with her little girl. What struck me in her posts, was that her little girl struggles, her little girl fights like a champ, her little girl goes on with life. And, mom and dad have a daily struggle, too. A battle of questions looming in their minds - will my child get lost? Will my child be safe? Will my child be frightened? Will my child pass milestones normally? Will my child be able to lead what we would consider to be a normal life? But they face each day with God as the center of their day ... wow! WOW! I know it must be hard for them, and possibly heartbreaking. But God sees them through each day - step by step.

I think I saw pretty much the same things when I viewed the video at Lauren's ... a young man with his own personal struggles, and insecurities, but, my thoughts went to the parents. Are they Christians? Do they know about God's amazing GRACE? How do they handle their own fears and expectations for their child?

You see, the world puts labels on us ... what is normal, what is acceptable, what is right. If you're not wearing one of those labels, then you can pretty much count on having a tough go at it. Acceptance is so key in this world. But the parents -- oh, the parents. As a new mom, I can only imagine what inner turmoil a parent must have for a child that has health issues and struggles. I know that I would be feeling thoughts of fear over my child's safety, anxiety over their acceptance, and would have questions running through my head, like... Will my child be loved, will my child have friends, will my child succeed in life. I know I would, because I have these same thoughts about my son even now, and he's only four months old. Our hearts as parents go out to our children. They break. Over, and over, and over again. Even when the child faces a struggle or disappointment and bounces back -- I'm willing to bet it's much, much faster than the parent can! We hold our children so dear and near to us.

Last night, my son was crying. He was unhappy. He refused to eat. I think he wasn't feeling well, and his gums were hurting from his first, and very stubborn tooth coming in. I could not calm him. I couldn't soothe him. I was there for him, I was holding him, loving him, cuddling him, but I couldn't make it better. I was so close to tears, when suddenly, he was a happy baby again. Cooing, laughing, and slightly medicated with Tylenol and Hyland's Homeopathic Teething Tablets (thank you Shannon for your sage advice ... you ROCK!). I sat back feeling slightly dazed from that experience, and upset that I couldn't take this pain away from him. Not 30 minutes later, he was crying, cranky and upset again. We tried Mylanta for his acid reflux. We tried feeding him. We gave him a bath. A bottle. I rocked him, cuddled him, loved him. He fought me, sleep, and comfort. But, as he started to drift off, and as I prayed over him, it suddenly hit me.

God is there. Whether we can 'do' anything or not. He never, ever goes away. He is in control. Even if the outcome isn't what we want or what we're looking for, and momRN2 said it best ... He was there from the beginning. Wow. Yes -- he was, wasn't he? Why does it take some of us so long to realize this? (ummm ... that would be me - memememe)

God is so amazing. He is faithful to us. He loves us so much. And I began to think how sad he must be when he watches us struggle... or hit our heads against the wall... or wander around in circles... or try to be the Lone Ranger (ummm... again, that would be meeeee!) and not turn to him. He holds us, tries to soothe us, calm us, and make things better, but like my son, we fight against him, because we think we can do it better. Us... do it better ... Yeah, RIGHT!

I don't even know if I'm really putting all those thoughts in my head in a clear and concise format, or if I'm making any sense to anyone else but me... or if I relayed how precious momRN2's story is to me, and what an awesome reminder it was that our loving Father is there for us. Many times, I feel alone. Deep in my heart, I feel discouraged and not appreciated. I feel inadequate and many times, I feel judged by others because I feel like I'm not living up to their expectations. I know one day, my child will feel like this too, and maybe even you feel like that? But isn't wonderful to remember that when we are feeling like this, GOD IS THERE ... and not only is he there, but ... He was there from the beginning. Isn't that amazing?

One last think I want to share with you... the words to Indescribable by Chris Tomlin. I heard this song this morning, and it brought tears to my eyes...

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea; Creation's revealing Your majesty; From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring; Every creature unique in the song that it sings; All exclaiming --

Indescribable, uncontainable, You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name. You are amazing God. All powerful, untameable, Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim, You are amazing God.

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go; Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow; Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light; Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night, None can fathom ...

Incomparable, unchangeable, You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same, You are amazing God, You are amazing God.

(Man! Why can't I write like that?)

My wish and prayer for you today is that you have an awesome day, and that you take a moment to revel in the love God has for you. He is there to comfort you, love you, hold you, rock you. And remember, that no matter what you're facing ... no matter how trivial or monumental it may be ... God is there for you, and as momRN2 pointed out... He was there from the beginning.