Thursday, June 01, 2006

Two Top Fives For The Office

All these things are real, and not exaggerated for effect. Honest.

Top 5 things people do freely at work ... and shouldn't:

5) Talk loudly in their cubes about personal things. Uh ... we can all hear you! (lalalalalalalala)
4) Program annoying and loud rings on their cell phones that they never answer because they are never in their cube. Where the cell phone is. (I should answer it one of these days!)
3) Shout "Hooyah" loudly and annoyingly over every stupid little thing. (Making a "basket" with a wad of paper should NOT elicit a Hooyah! Learn the importance of the word.)
2) Pick their noses when they think no one is coming around the corner ... and get caught in the act ... then try to cover up the fact that they were knuckle deep by scratching their face... Yeah. You really fooled me!
1) Pass gas loudly. Now, what's up with that? Didn't your momma teach you how to "hold it in?"

Top 5 things people wear at work ... and shouldn't:

5) Strappy stiletto heels -- well, I guess some working girls wear them ... but this is a professional office, so -- not appropriate.
4) Come to work looking like Mimi from the Drew Carey Show ... Also not appropriate.
3) Polyester high waters ... of any kind.
2) Black highwaters with black shoes and either blue or brown argyle socks... What? Are you color blind or something?
1) Savings & Loan hair ... You know ... Comb-overs ... Nasty! Especially when it's greasy! Just shave your head -- it will look better, I promise!

16 comments:

RANDI said...

You made me laugh this AM--thanks!

Stacey said...

Wow, you're just a little frustrated huh? I've never had to sit in a cubical so I don't know what this is like but you sure had me picturing it and cracking up laughing!!

Heather Smith said...

I am literally laughing out loud. Now the people in the cube next to me are gonna be annoyed with me. Thanks, GiBee! LOL!

Overwhelmed! said...

Too funny!! I agree with all of them. :)

momrn2 said...

I want to work with you! Sounds like there is never a dull moment!! These were great. Thanks for the laugh this morning!!

Susan said...

This was hilarious to read!

Morning Glory said...

What fun stuff! Don't you just HATE those nasty combovers???? Don't they realize they make them look older, NOT younger, and emphasize the fact that they are losing their hair?

Tess said...

savings and loan hair... omg that is too funny.

Faith said...

Soooo, you didn't just see that did you? I was just scratching my face, really,I was! HEHEHE, that is sooo funny. People just don't get it do they?

Carol said...

pffffthththttht....

That was the sound of my water being sprayed all over my keyboard.

Hooya!!!

sarahgrace said...

Hmmm. Something makes me think the first five refer to the male gender, no?

Hee hee hee. I used to live in a cubicle, or at least that is what I called the little studio apartment...not quite the same, but probably just as frustrating at times.

kpjara said...

I can't believe I missed this yesterday.... could be time for a new cubicle! or is it God urging you to do the SAHM thing? just wondering????

kpjara said...

in an effort avoid my own work today I've actually REALLY been giving this situation some thought...okay in light of cubicle movement freeze...the next best thing to shut up Mr. Wooha! is put signs up all over you cubicle saying: "GO Navy!" That way he'll be so disgusted with your lack of Marine-Hype he'll hopefully lay off!

Lauren said...

I love a good GiBee rant now and then. Your Savings and Loan comment took me a bit but I soooo loved it!

Janice (5 Minutes for Mom) said...

too funny girl - your office always makes me wonder...it sounds a bit crazy there!

what are highwaters?

C. H. Green said...

I needed this laugh. I take myself way too seriously. LOL.