Friday Blues

You may have noticed lately (or not) that I have not been my usually chipper self. Oh, it creeps in here and there, but for the most part, I've been battling the blues. I guess it's a mild case of depression.

Maybe it's because I'm facing the fact that I've got to squeeze my blubbery-jelly-belly into a swimming suit next week for all the world to see. Maybe it's because my feet are in such a state of pain, I doubt I'll be able to do much walking on the boardwalk. Maybe it's because I am feeling as though I'm in a dry spot spiritually. Maybe it's because I am mourning not being able to see all the neat things my son is doing on a daily basis because I work full time. Maybe it's because I can't look back and say that I've seen God lately. Maybe it's because it's a beautiful, breezy, big-puffy-cloud kind of day without any humidity, and I'm stuck in an office building breathing stale air. Maybe it's because life is moving so fast -- like a movie before my very eyes ... one that I can't seem to pause no matter how hard I try. Maybe it's just the Popeye's spicy chicken strips I had for lunch coming back to haunt me.

Whatever the case may be, the fact remains. I'm feeling blue. And, as I was reading some blogs this morning, I stumbled across a scripture from Habakkuk. I can't remember whos blog it was, but it sent me in search of the book of Habakkuk.

Ironically, Habakkuk means "embrace" in Hebrew. Ironically, because I could use a "God embrace" right now. And even more ironic, Habakkuk doesn't hesitate to openly question God about all the unfairness he sees, as well as pretty much challenging God's wisdom! AND, he complains a lot! That sounds so much like me. "Why, God? Why is this happening? Why is that happening? Wouldn't it be better if it turned out like this? Or that? Why does everything seem so unfair?" I can totally relate to that.

But more than that, I can relate to Habakkuk's swing of moods. In chapter one, he's feeling pretty low and questioning God ( "How long, O Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you . . . but you do not save? . . . Why do you tolerate wrong?"). In chapter two, he is feeling despair, but he's waiting on God for an answer ("I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will say to me, and what answer I am to give to this complaint"). Waiting seems to be an important step; one which I hate. But in chapter three ... he is praising God. So, pretty much, Habakkuk is pretty moody, and I like that about him. He can swing like a pendulum. Yeah. Me too.

So, I concentrated on chapter three, of course, because I was already down, and feeling despair. Now, I wanted to feel joy! And what a better chapter to zone-in on than one that tracks Habakkuk's progress towards spiritual happiness?

Habakkuk realizes that God is in control. He is holy. And it only took him two chapters to get there (ha-ha). He spends time not only pleading with God, and writing about God's wrath, but he spends time praising God's majesty and his power, and he promises to wait and trust in God. Even though what is looming ahead of him is frightening. He settles down and "embraces" God. He accepts that even though we sometimes don't see God, God is always actively involved. He is holy, and he hears and answers our prayers. Habakkuk did something I find very difficult to do. He relied on God and not -- get this -- human strength. Even when it wasn't in Habakkuk's own timing, but rather, God's timing. Owww.

"Though the cherry trees don't blossom and the strawberries don't ripen, Though the apples are worm-eaten and the wheat fields stunted, Though the sheep pens are sheepless and the cattle barns empty,

I'm singing joyful praise to God.

I'm turning cartwheels of joy to my Savior God.

Counting on God's Rule to prevail, I take heart and gain strength. I run like a deer.

I feel like I'm king of the mountain!"

Habakkuk 3:17-19 (The Message)

"Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior."
Vs. 18 (NIV)

It sort of brings to mind the song Chris Tomlin wrote (and sings) called, How Great is Our God... (I'm going to scrunch it all together to save space)

The splendor of the King, clothed in majesty; Let all the earth rejoice, All the earth rejoice. He wraps himself in Light, and darkness tries to hide. And trembles at His voice, Trembles at His voice -- How great is our God, sing with me, How great is our God, and all will see How great, how great is our God.

Age to age He stands. And time is in His hands. Beginning and the end. Beginning and the end. The Godhead Three in One. Father Spirit Son. The Lion and the Lamb, The Lion and the Lamb. How great is our God, sing with me. How great is our God, and all will see. How great, how great is our God. Name above all names. Worthy of all praise. My heart will sing. How great is our God.

That is soooo what I needed to hear. I'm actually feeling a bit better. Not all the way better. Just a bit. Maybe a banana split kinda date with my husband tonight will make it aaaallll better. DOH! Forgot about the jelly-belly thing. X the banana split. Just spending one on one time with him will be a sweet balm to my sad spirit.

Have a blessed weekend. And remember -- use a shot glass full of sunscreen for an adult's arms and face.