Tuesday, August 22, 2006

A bit of randomness ... making no sense at all

Randomness # 1: So a few weeks ago, I went to get a pedicure. And while the lady was working on my toes, she looked up and said, "You wanna wax brows?" Uh, NO, thank you ... And, all I could think of was... PAIN FACTOR, people ... PAIN. I've had other things waxed, and trust me ... I will not go there again! Then I got to thinking ... do I need an eyebrow wax? Am I looking particularly bushy? Do I have random strays that need taming? Why is this lady offering to wax my brows while trimming my toe nails? That's just gross! I guess she wanted to make an extra buck or two, but please! Find someone who enjoys pain, okay?

Randomness #2: The other day, I got an email from abu_alassa02@ozu.es. Oh, yes ... I got excited, because I thought I was actually getting a "one on one" email from a fellow blogger, which is quite silly, because her email resembles the one above by only THREE letters. Anyway, I didn't give it a second thought and just clicked right into it. Imagine my disappointment when I read this (typos and all):

When i was searching for a foreign partner i assured of your capability and reliability to champion this businees opportunity when i prayed to God or Allah about you. In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of $ 15 million U.S.A dollars ( fifteen million U.S.A dollars) . In an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in (Monday 31st July 2000) in a plane crash.

The Banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money remained unclamed after five years, the money will be transfered into the Bank treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner, and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner. We agree that 30 % of this money will be for you as foreign partner, in respect to the provision of a foreign account, 10% will be set aside for expenses incured during the business and 60 % would be for me and my woman colleague.

POST SCRITUM: You have to keep everything secret as to enable the transfer to move very smoothly in to the account you will prove to the bank. As you finished reading this letter call me immediately so that we discuss very well over this business.

First of all ... I am not sure that I feel as honored as I should about being propositioned over email to be someone's "foreign partner." More kinky than I can handle!

Next, it is not very reassuring to see that I am being propositioned by someone with multiple personalities, who has a need to go to both God and Allah about me.

Even more disappointing, I see that I only get 30% of the $15 million, while he and his "woman colleague" get 60%... YOU AREN'T FOOLING ME, BUDDY! You're TWO TIMING me before I even agree to be your partner! The nerve. And ... I'll just bet it's with Lauren!

Finally -- "POST SCRITUM?" That sounds painful... but okay -- I'll keep it a secret... and worry not ... my personal account number is on its way to you, and look for my phone call so we can "discuss very well over this business."

Randomness #3: When I was pregnant last year, the bones in my feet hurt so bad I could barely walk. The doctor told me that they were actually growing. When the doctor told me that, I just looked at him and said, "you mean they're swollen, and they will go back down after the baby, right?" He said, "no, probably not." Nice. And ... they didn't. I have fairly narrow feet -- well, not narrow, but not WIDE either. Just normal, I guess. But yes, they are a whole size to a size-and-a-half loooonger. Harumph! I've had to get all new shoes for summer, and now, all new shoes for fall (oh, such a problem, huh!). So, having said all that, does this mean that with my next pregnancy (hopefully this fall/winter), my feet will grow even more? Because I can't handle much bigger feet! It's really throwing me off balance! I keep tripping over stuff and stubbing my toes! I should just get a pair of clown shoes and be done with it!

Randomness #4: I need another pedicure ... but keep putting it off because I'm afraid she'll point out everything I need waxed! And maybe, she might even make a comment about my clown feet! Ugh!


the lizness said...

that's funny - my sister's feet shrunk when she had my nephew


Susanne said...

You're so funny! You sound like you've had a few coffee's this morning! :D

#1 I had my eyebrows waxed once in my life. I was red for 3 days after. So what's worse a few stray hairs or having beet red between your eyes and above your eyelids. I'll take the hairs!

#2 Scary

#3 My feet grew a little longer too, but I didn't have the pain. Feel for you, girl. But enjoy all those new shoes!

#4 Go for your pedicure, ignore the rest!

kpjara said...

I am absolutely crazy about you and this post...is one of the reasons why!

Perhaps the feet growth could be a teen pregnancy deterent?

Heather Smith said...

How rude is it that she said that? I mean if I want to have my eyebrows waxed I'll tell you. It isn't so bad for me to have my eyebrows waxed, but my poor brother's fiance actually bled. She has red hair and very pale sensitive skin. I felt really sorry for her!
On the second thing, that's my money girl. I saw this e-mail first! I actually get them all the time. Apparently I'm a good candidate for dead people's money!
Mom's feet grew a 1/2 size with all of us. It is weird!
Get the pedicure girl, you deserve it, just take an ipod with you or something and tune the pedicure lady out!

Laura said...

I like randomness!!!

Shalee said...

#1 - go read what Holy Sister left in the comment section of Holy Mama's Drive thru Eyebrows. You'll be totally relieved. (I loved having my eyebrows waxed - all 1 time that I did it.)

#2 - You could send me your personal account and I will give you $15 dollars and not keep any of it. I'm that nice of a gal.

#3 - Can't relate. Nothing of me grew except the normal big belly and engorged boobs. And of course you've seen how long that lasted. (Hmph! and I finally was filling out the shirts the way they were supposed to be filled out. Sigh.)

#4 - Go get the pedicure... Just shave your legs before you do.

Random away woman. I can so keep up with you!

Jeana said...

1) She's just trying to make more money off you.

2) Now be fair, they aren't praying to god and Allah, but to God or Allah. YOu get to choose. I don't think you'll find anyone more accomadating than that.

3)Not only did my feet grow, I grew another inch somewhere during or after my second pregnancy. I blame those Prenatal vitamins.

Mama D said...

It's funny I posted a story about waxing today...

Is THAT why my feet hurt? More after I had A. Perhaps they grew after she was born??

Overwhelmed! said...

#1 I had my eyebrows waxed once. It hurt like the dickens but they looked great!

#2 Bizarre!

#3 My sisters have told me about this. Don't sweat it, just have fun shopping for new shoes!

#4 Go for your pedicure, tell them "no" on the eyebrow wax. You probably don't need it. They're just trying to make money.

Oh, thanks for your comment on my Older Parent (revealing my age) post.

It sounds as though you understand exactly what I'm talking about! Thanks for sharing.

mamashine said...

My feet have grown a size and a half through my pregnancies. I'm about to have to start shopping in special stores. It's pathetic. My husband commented the other day that I had six pairs of black shoes in front of the door, and it's because NONE of them fit anymore.

Angie said...

The nerve of her! I have the bushiest eyebrows, really thick (I used to nicknamed Brooke aka Brooke Shields in HS). I would rather have strays and fly aways than go through that pain. No Way!

As for that letter, I feel so betrayed. I thought I was the only one. :(

Go get the pedicure and take the Ipod like Heather said. I have a foot thing, I can't stand it when my feet are touched so I never go. I wish I could stand it though, I'm sure it is nice.

Thanks for putting a smile on my face today! I can always count on you for that!

Tammy said...

Funny stuff! :D

And you know...we have gotten similar e-mails like that too! What's up with that?

And I think those beauty shop gals try to shame us into having more work done to make a few more bucks...I'm sure your eye brows are totally under control! ;)

Pam said...

Too funny, though why am I not surprised!

Hate to break the news, but my feet grew at least half a size with each of my three full-term pregnancies! I now wear a size 7, which is great because now I can wear cooler shoes than I could with a little 5 1/2!

Thanks for the giggles, GiBee.

Carol said...

My daugher-13 gets her brows waxed. I don't know that it's any more painful than plucking - it's a lot faster, though.

I got a couple of emails like that. Are people really this dumb?

My feet went from 8.5 to size 10 as a result of two pregnancies.

How come this stuff happens to me, but it's not nearly as fun-sounding as when it happens to you?

Thanks for the chuckle, GiBs

Anonymous said...

Dead on right, how did you know? I gave him my account numbers so they could transfer money. Now I guess you're the one holding everything up. And I too felt they he was extremely accommodating by allow me to decide who he had already prayed to for guidance.

Blogger profile name said...

When I was pregnant with my third child my feet grew and never went back. I was a size 7 1/2 from the 8th grade until that pregnancy. I've been a size 8 ever since.

Susan said...

My feet grew after my daughter was born, she was about 8 months old, I wondered if it had something to do with hormones and breast feeding?

Or perhaps I'm just odd?

I had my first ever pedicure last week, it was so relaxing.