Friday, July 20, 2007

A Rare and Incurable Medical Condition

When you run out of things to blog about [read: too lazy to think real hard], you blog about your feet. At least I do. Don't you???

You see, I have a medical condition. But I'll get to that shortly.

About 4 weeks ago, I went and got a pedicure. I went with my sister-in-lovey (Sunshine) and my adorable niece (niece). Why? Well ... the night of my husband's surprise 40th birthday party shin-dig, my niece spent the entire time chasing after my little blessed gift from God who loves to test his mamma's limits, and run and climb, and chase, and squeal, and talk very, very loudly. When ever he feels like it.

You would think this angelic child isn't disciplined by his parents, but lo, he is. Trust me. He is. He is currently best friends with the first step of our stairs leading to the second floor (or any first step that happens to be handy at the time). He is also intimately close with several of our wooden spoons. So, yes. He is disciplined. But, I never said he was a rocket scientist, and it just takes a wee bit longer for him to catch onto the idea that if you throw your plate of food across the room, you might just get a moment to sit on the time-out step. Or other various discipline measures we use. In fact, now that I think about it ... he throws his plate a lot. Maybe he actually enjoys sitting on that step.

Anyway, back to the story. I know it wasn't easy for my little niece to chase after Hunter, and keep him entertained for 2 hours, and her poor little face was beet red and sweaty, too. So my husband, who loves her fiercely, told me to tell her that I could take her to get a pedicure, since she was so helpful. Let me just stop this story for a moment... have you ever seen someone on cloud nine? That would be my niece's reaction.

So, back to the story. Again. I made an appointment, and we all went together, skipping down the sidewalk, holding each other's hands, while merrily humming a melodic tune. Well, not really. But we did go together.

And ... that is precisely where my SIL and my niece discovered my very strange medical foot condition. And they laughed. At me. Although, I'm sure if I asked, they would have said that they were laughing with me. Yeah. Right.

So, today, a friend asked me if I wanted to go for a pedicure at lunch with another friend. I told her I'd think about it, but seriously ... after an uncomfortable week of neck pain, I decided to jump all over that offer. I'm not stupid or anything! But I had forgotten about my little [ehem] condition.

Until the pedicurist began touching my feet. Which, sadly, is a requirement to pedicures.

And then ... then ... it became obvious to all in the salon (pronounced with a decidedly French accent). My medical condition... totalfoottickleitis.

It's sad. It's pathetic. It's embarrassing. It's totally incurable.

It's the kind of totalfoottickleitis that has your whole entire body leaping from the seat, grabbing your spassing leg, while shouting, "NO, IT'S OKAY -- IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME-HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHEHHEHEHEHEH -- DON'T -- HAHAHAHAHAHA -- STOP -- HEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHA -- ON MY -- AAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA -- ACCOUNT!"

Oh, and if it's not embarrassing enough that your friends discover that you are freakishly ticklish on your feet, I did not shave my legs this morning. Or yesterday morning. Hmmmm -- when did I shave last? According to the hair growth, I would guess three days. Not that it matters. To you, anyway. But ... when you're getting a massage, which was the best one I've ever received from anyone in the entire world ... you tend to be a little bit self conscious about copious amounts of hair growth on your legs. Where you're receiving the massage. Which was the best in the world. Did I mention that? Praise God from whom all blessings flow; Praise Him all creatures here below; Praise Him above ye heav'nly host; Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost ... for all thy blessings of pedicures and leg massages. Amen.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Bask in it's beauty, share God's love with someone, and for heaven's sake ... go to church and enjoy some good old fashioned worship, fellowship, and enrichment!!! Oh, yeah ... and don't forget to watch The Next Food Network Star finale, Sunday, at 9pm/8c. If you didn't vote, so sad, too bad ... it's closed now. But tune in to see who won!!!

"Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy. How awesome is the Lord Most High, the great King over all the earth!" Psalm 47:1-2

Smooches (in a French sort of airy and pedicured way).

8 comments:

Jessie said...

*giggles* That is so funny! I haven't had a pedicure in over 3 years! (gasp) I enjoyed reading your blog today. Have a wonderful weekend!

Mama-rama said...

You are cracking me up today! Have a great weekend.

Annabelle said...

I was just surfing blogs when I came across this post...I was totally laughing "with you"! :)

Jen said...

LOL Id say theres a lot of people with that condition

Stacey said...

Wow, you must have it bad! You were totally cracking me up with the shaving thing! Great story, I'm going to think of it the next time I get a pedicure :-)

ValleyGirl said...

Ahhh, my legs almost constantly have that 'shaved 3 days ago' look, so I can well sympathize with your embarrassment there, but I LOVE having my feet tickled!! As long as there's no fingernails involved, I find it relaxes me almost as well as a massage does. But now I'm in the mood for a pedicure...

I love reading your blog. You're definitely one of my favourites!

Jana (sidetrack'd) said...

Totalfoottickelitis - too funny! Glad you had a nice pedicure and great massage; hopefully it offset some of the pain you've been feeling in your neck and back.

Barb said...

I'd love to just sit there and watch you get that pedicure and massage. LOL Glad your neck is better, though. I've done that. No fun. At all.