A ROYAL Pain in the Neck

Here's the thing ... Sometimes ... stuff happens that you're embarrassed about ... but that "stuff" ends up putting a real kink in life.

For instance ... I hurt my neck this past weekend. It was the wee hours of the morning (3:00 a.m., to be exact). I was stretching in bed, and at the same time, I was turning over to my side... when ... SHAZAM!!! Pain just slammed me in the back of my head, neck, and shoulder areas.

As the weekend progressed, so did my pain. It went from a level 7-8 pain, to a level "GAZILLION," and didn't seem like it would stop. It triggered a series of cluster-like headaches behind my eyes and at the base of my head where it meets up with the neck -- worse than a migraine, and one right on top of another.

But do you think I went to the emergency room, or an urgent care clinic? Why, no, thankyouverymuch. Because, some of us still have pride. And since I wasn't rear-ended by a mac-truck, or hit head-on by a stray taxi cab, or anything glamorous like that, I wasn't about to go and explain to a doctor that I injured my neck "real bad" while stretching. In bed. Oh ... the laughs I would draw from that! I can just hear them now! (Oh -- that's my girlfriend here at work laughing at me.)

But by Monday, I had noticed a few things: 1) I had become very, VERY clumsy. More so than usual. 2) I felt like my head had been bashed by a sledge hammer ... right behind the eyeball area, and then again at the base of my head. 3) I had pain radiating down my neck, into my shoulders, and down my spine to about mid/top level of my back. 4) I discovered what "seeing stars" really means. 5) I learned that when someone is in dire pain, they will do whatever it takes to get rid of the pain (like take 3 Aleeve, 5 Advil, and 2 Extra-strength Tylenol all within 4 hours of each other -- I'm just saying ... some people might do that).

So Monday, I decided I had enough, and I went to the doctor, who didn't laugh at me (thankheavens) ... but did, however ... prescribe a muscle relaxer and pain pill. I HEART my doctor. Sort of. Because he's a little weird, but other than that, I heart him. (disclaimer: saying he is weird is not ridicule and I'm not being unkind -- I'm using the word "weird" to describe that he is "different" in the way he practices medicine)

But did you know that a whole new level of responsibility goes along with the taking of said pain pills and muscle relaxers? Oh, yes, my friends. You are handed the pills, you take them, you find relief, and then ... then ... stuff starts happening that teaches you new lessons about the meaning of a little word: responsibility.

For instance ... yesterday, I wrote my post for Works For Me Wednesday, spell checked it (sort-of), posted it, and went along on my merry way. Do you think I remembered that I needed to put my link to the post on Mister Linky at Shannon's place? Nope. I didn't. Total memory lapse. Responsibility lesson #1 while on drugs: Never do anything that requires more than one step, or any amount of concentration whatsoever. I'm sure you're thinking to yourself ... "gee, that's not so bad!" Yeah ... maybe not, but take that little example and compound it through out the day on everything you do. It gets pretty bad, pretty fast.

And then ... later on in the day, it became very apparent to me that my mouth (and mind) becomes rubber-like when on said drugs. I was feeling all relaxed and comfortable, and whatnot. You know -- rubbery. And pain-free ... did I mention that? Anyway, here's an example of what I mean: As I was walking down the hall, someone said to me, "How are you doing?" as they passed me. I replied, with something like: "uhm fun an lu?" And that said, I give you ... Responsibility lesson #2 while on drugs: Never open your mouth to say anything while on drugs. Ever. You'll get busted -- guaranteed.

Having said all that ... I shouldn't have been surprised when someone came by my cube during the day, and we got to talking about something, and she said ... "Janette has that, doesn't she?" And for the life of me, I couldn't remember who in the world this Janette chick was. I looked at her funny, and said, "Who's Janette?" and she looked at me even funnier, and said, "Janette -- the civil estimator that you work with every day?" To which I replied, "oh, JANETTE. Yes, I know who you mean..." (while feeling absolutely st-oooo-pid). Responsibility lesson #3 while on drugs: Don't get into any deep, meaningful conversations ... and if you do ... always pretend like you know what you're talking about.

So, today, I'm not taking my medicines ... and let me just say ... the pain and discomfort is back ... at a level 5 ... so not as bad as Monday. But, at least I can operate heavy machinery. Or talk without using Martian-ese as my language of choice.

Finally, a word of caution ... taking muscle relaxers and pain killers will NOT make you amorous, in fact, it will put you to sleep the second you hit the pillow.

Oh, did I mention that I was TOTALLY convinced that yesterday was today ... as in Wednesday was Thursday, and not indeed Wednesday? It's the drugs. Trust me. But now that I don't have any in my system, you should do what I'm planning on doing, and head off to BooMama's at noon, central time, and click on the link to register for a free Monk and Neagle CD! Oh, yes ... it's today ... Thursday!!! WOOT!!!

In the mean time ... where's my extra strength Tylenol??? Where oh WHERE??

Please forgive me ... I'm just not my USUAL!!! CHIPPER!!! CHEERFUL!!! JOYFUL!!! self this week.