I received a comment yesterday about my post ... Crazy Mary. I wanted to respond to the commenter, but she didn't leave her email address, and I felt it was important enough to address her comment here on my blog as a separate post, just in case anyone else felt the same way she did. Here is the comment that Amanda left me:
"But...this woman needs help and, at the very least, companionship a few times a day. I see ridicule and unkind words here. We all have neighbors who are not like us; is every neighbor a case-study? Is every human being a case study?"Dear Amanda,
I do not agree with your comment that Mary needs "help." I have gone by her home several times this past week, and she is very independent and manages very well on her own. I would, however, agree that she needs companionship. I had mentioned to my husband numerous times this past week that I would like to take her some of the cupcakes I will be baking during my cupcake contest and sit and chat for a while. We (my husband and I) both agree that she is lonely, and this would be a good thing for me to do.
As for your comment about "see[ing] ridicule and unkind words" ... I'm sorry you feel that way. If you spend any time here at Kisses of Sunshine, then you know that I am not an unkind person. I simply relayed the conversation exactly as it occurred. I did not label her "Crazy Mary" -- she introduced herself as that in a joking manner.
Finally, I think that there is a lot more behind the following comment you made: "We all have neighbors who are not like us; is every neighbor a case-study? Is every human being a case study?" My answer to that is ... yes, we all have neighbors who are unlike us, and NO ... every neighbor and human being is NOT a case-study. And neither is Mary. I don't know the motivation behind that part of your comment ... I don't know if you have ever experienced unkindness from a neighbor, and you are particularly sensitive to this issue, or if you may have seen unkind treatment of another neighbor. But Amanda, I assure you ... I am not an unkind person, and if anything, I am quite the opposite and tend to lean heavily on the side of compassion, kindness, and generosity.
I think it's important to point out that many times, the written word can come across as flat -- it doesn't carry the author's inflection or intonation. We ALL say things that are tongue-in-cheek, we ALL read things with a different slant, and we ALL poke fun at one point or another. We are, after all, human. My post was not meant to be hurtful, and I'm sorry if you, or anyone else felt put-off by it.
3 comments:
I've been a lurker here for awhile, and I always enjoy reading your posts. I didn't get from your Crazy Mary post what Amanda did...but I do agree with you that everyone will interpret the written word in their own way, through their own perspective. I just started my own blog, and I'm really analyzing everything I type as I don't want to offend anyone etc (of course, I've only posted twice with 1 reader, how offensive could I be already)??
Anyway, I always enjoy this site and though I certainly can't really know who you are, I can tell you wouldn't have posted anything mean-spirited toward your neighbor.
Gibee, I did not get a vicious slant on your post either. I knew what it was about but I agree that depending on experiences you view the written word as different from another person. I think it's mighty gracious of you to actually address this in a whole other post when you could have brushed it aside.
If I can add my two cents...I didn't "hear" a negative tone in it either.
I didn't think you were disrespectful of her. And, whether the person is "crazy" or not, how many times have we wished to be "pulled away" from a conversation with someone who is a "gregarious" and/or "enthusiastic" speaker! *wink*
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