Friday, June 09, 2006

OH!! No, they didn't!!!

Okay ... it's 2 in the afternoon. I ate a healthy lunch (salad) but it just didn't satisfy. So, I take the last bit of money from my wallet ($2) and treck up to the vending machines. I have just enough to get a can of coke ($0.75) and a bag of peanut m&m's ($0.75)... So ... I pop my money in to get my soda. It rolls down with a satisfying kerplunk. Then, I turn around to pop my money in for the m&m's I am now craving ... and that's when I see it.

They have replaced my dear peanut m&m's with ... now, prepare yourself ... this ...


Oh, no they didn't! Who made this executive decision? And tell me, WHO EATS GARFIELD CHOCOBITES? Seriously ... why would I want to eat ANYTHING that's "Garfield Approved?" GAG... so much for my craving. So, since I've already dropped my money into the vending machine, I punch in the numbers to get a whole different snack (and not so lady-like, either) ... this was my new source of snacking pleasure ...


But ... because I was pretty much JAMMING the numbers in, I think I hit a wrong button and ended up getting this ... (in white, not green -- blogger wouldn't let me load the other picture I had of the real deal)



Now ... let me go on record saying that I have never had a Hostess sno-ball. Ever. In my entire life. And as I stared at the package with great disappointment, I realized that indeed, I would be trying them for the first time in just a matter of minutes, since I only had $0.50 left.

And just so you know ... they taste as disgusting as they look. The texture of the marshmallow is like biting into a rubbery sponge, and the coconut (good thing it was white, because if it was green, it never would have graced these lips) was so dry, nasty, and stuck to my teeth. The chocolate cake was yucky, and I'm not sure mine actually had cream filling. I think it was grease filling. It gave me an entire body shiver as I shoved the remaining sno ball back in the original package and tossed it all in the trash can. Yuuu-huuk. I think I'd rather eat any of these things if given the choice!

So ... to our local vendor man ... if you replaced the regular old variety of REAL m&m peanuts with the nasty Garfield variety so you could bring in a bit more cash ... do us all a favor and replace them with the real thing and jack the prices up. Again. Because no one should be subject to the trauma induced by taking a bite out of a nasty sno ball, when all they really wanted was peanut m&ms.

14 comments:

Susanne said...

Cmon Gibee? Where is your sense of adventure? :D Well at least now you have something to stand on when you say "no" to your boy when he wants one. Did you say these wonderful 2 snacks were put into a vending machine in a work place where I'm assuming there are no children?

Angie said...

You, my friend, are just too stinkin' funny! Anything with coconut disgusts me...ugh! And who would eat Garfield snacks over M&M's? Not me, that's fo' sho'!

Heather Smith said...

Well, you asked for a lesson from the sno ball, so here it is. Fasting. Sometimes God wants us to fast! That's the best I could come up with right now!!

Seriously though, I've been forced to choke down a bite of one of these myself. It was GROSS and NASTY!! It was all that I could do to choke down one bite and not be unladylike and spit it out. Like yours, the rest of mine was tossed quickly in the trash!

It WAS better, however, than the time that the machine dropped a honey bun that was covered entirely on the back side with mold. Talk about trying not to hurl! Yuck!

Just Nancy said...

I loved snowballs as a kid!! I don't know if I'd like them now, but I have a "fond" memory of shoving a whole one in my mouth because lunch was over and I thought I was going to die because I wasn't sure I could even chew it!

Anonymous said...

i don't know what sounds nastier, 'chocobites' or 'grease filling'!!! ew!

Anonymous said...

My husband's mother used to stock up at the day-old bakery (ten for a dollar) and then freeze the snacks. My husband never had a sno-ball that wasn't frozen, and I think he thought that's why they were called "snow balls".

Colloquist said...

Gibee, you are ten thousand times braver than I am if you actually ingested a bite of that green thing. Eeewww! :D

Pam said...

Ick!! I don't think I've been that hungry for a snack in a long time. My girls have had the pink ones and swear they taste "dee-licious", but I'm with you on the assessment. They'll never cross these lips either!!

sarahgrace said...

Hee, hee hee hee! Too funny! I've never eaten a snowball either, and thanks to that delightful description, I'm sure I never will....I hope!

Donnetta said...

Gross, Gag, and all that stuff. ICK!

Mom2fur said...

I remember eating snoballs as a kid. I can only imagine the saturated fat in those things. Yuck! (BTW--you actually could eat squid, you know. It's called 'calamari' in Italian and my husband and kids love it. Me...not crazy about it, but I'd sure eat it before I ate a snoball again.)

Anonymous said...

Sorry about your immense snack misfortune. I would NOT have eaten that thing (after the first bite)

Heth said...

Want to hear a story?

One day I was at the grocery store with my four year old. As we walked by the sno-ball display, he reached out and squeezed one of the packages. We were now forced to buy them and as I buckled him in his carseat, I made one the biggest parenting mistakes in my life, I opened the package and handed him a sno-ball. I then proceeded to climb into the driver's seat and not look back until we pulled in our driveway. Imagine what a sno-ball looks like when it has been gripped tightly in a child's fist and then kneaded like bread dough. I'll tell you what it looks like: poo. It was so disgusting and so sticky and such a mess. I took pictures.

But I still eat them. Sorry about your Peanut M&M's.

kpjara said...

Are you kidding me! They replaced M&M's a staple in the American Woman's diet for GARFIELD CHOCO-WHATEVERS! Good LORD a man must be making these decisions. They do realize they are facing potential riot inducing behavior, don't they?

Though...the business woman in me says: Keep a case of M&M's in your desk (locked of course, and give the key to a trusted person) and sell the contraband to the angry masses!