In the World of Clean ...

Soooooo ...

Last night, I sat around with absolutely NOTHING to do. My mom and dad are arriving on Friday, and I had absolutely nothing to do, since now, I live in the world of clean. Nothing, I tell you. Nothing, except, well, you know ... steam clean the carpets, for the love of everything that is good and clean.

Let me just start by saying ... who knew that one carpet ... one measly little wall to wall carpet in one little tiny family room could collect so much stinking dirt in it that the water in the steam cleaner would be --- ummmm --- black. Yes, black. Brings a whole new meaning to germ-free living, folks ... especially when your precious, innocent little child walks around picking up whatever is on the floor and pops it into his little mouth. Because, it just looks so good. So appealing. So appetizing. Yummo.

And for the record, let me be very clear in stating that it takes 4 adults to clean a hand full of carpets when there is a 19-month-soon-to-be-20-month child running wild around the house. Yes, indeedy. Don't try it on your own. You'll regret it.

Also, if you're thinking of investing about $200 into a new steam carpet cleaner (and really, who isn't), might I strongly suggest that you look into the BISSELL ProHeat 2X Upright Deep Cleaner? This machine totally rocks the world of Harry-homeowner-carpet-cleaners! It has two rolls of bristles that scrub and clean, and a "Surround Suction" thingie (I kid you not) that sucks all the water and dirt right out of the carpet. It uses hot, HOT water, and even has its own built-in heater to keep the water hot. Beautiful. This is a fine, FINE piece of household equipment. All us kidlings got one for my mother- and father-in-law for Christmas, and we borrowed it to do our carpets last night. Along with my inlaws, too. They helped a LOT. Praise God for wonderful inlaws!!! (and wonderful machinery, too!)

Moving on ... Did you know that if you stand on the second floor of your house (that looks down to the first floor), and you peer down at just the right angle, you can actually see some really cool and artistic dust patterns on the blades of your ceiling fan? Who knew that dust could actually be considered art ... because the person that actually knew this tidbit failed to share that with me. So, I bring you that late breaking news so you don't break your neck trying to clean ceiling fans that hang from cathedral ceilings. Art, people ... art.

And, after all that work last night, when I finally dropped in bed, I had a startling thought that drove me straight to prayer. And I am NOT kidding. You see -- a neighbor of mine really tries to be helpful by handing down stuff that her children either wore or played with. Don't get me wrong ... I absolutely LOVE hand-me-downs. It is the only way to cloth a child without going broke. Except for when the hand-me-downs are in such distress that you can't make out what it might have been in its original state. And this kind neighbor happened to drop of some of her kids junk toys ... little people toys ... that were caked with, well, I don't know what, and were ... chewed? Yes. I'm pretty sure that's what it was -- chewed. And the little-people play station that came with it was huge, and looked quite interesting to play with, but it was broken.

So, I did what all caring moms would do. I hid the toys. In the garbage can. Which brings me to my time of intense prayer last night. You see, my garbage can, which, I might add, is gargantuous at 96-gallons, was full. Very full. Overflowing so much that we couldn't shut the lid. And, not only was it full, but it was so stinking heavy that we could barely wheel it down to the curb. Fortunately, we have these cool trash cans with a metal bar in the front that the trash truck uses to pick it up and fling it over the top to empty it. Yes... automated trash trucks. It's THE way to go. I only wish I had taken a picture of this trash can before the trash truck came at 3:45 in the morning to dump it so you could get a full feel of exactly how overloaded and heavy it was.

Anyway, I was so worried that the trash can would be too heavy for the automated arm to lift, which would cause the can to flail around, which in turn, would cause the contents to fall out, which ... you guessed it ... would lead to the discovery that I threw away the hand-me-down toys and underwear from my neighbor.

Oh ... did I forget to mention that she (the kind neighbor) handed-down some well-worn, and stained toddler's underwear? Yes indeedy. Of course, they came with the assurance that they had been well-bleached, but seriously people ... hand-me-down-poopie-stained-underwear? I think not. I'm not a snob or anything, but I think I'll spring for a new pack when I begin the whole potty training business, thank you very much. I'm thinking its one thing to hand down underwear sibling to sibling ... totally acceptable, if clean and sanitary. But to your neighbor? Weird. So, you see why I was praying? Hard? I know she meant well, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Tell me ... what would you have done about the toys and underwear?

Okay -- I've got to get back to work ... yet another place where I have absolutely nothing to do... hmmmm -- these carpets are looking a little drab...