Living Beyond Yourself

I have to be very honest with you... I started writing this post on Friday. Saturday morning, I changed my mind, and started re-writing it. Then, the interruptions of the day and evening kept leaping before me, and before I knew it ... it was Sunday afternoon. And once again, I sat down to complete my post, re-read what I had typed, and deleted everything, only to start again.

Why?

Because this weeks LBY lesson was on Faithfulness. And this weekend, I have seen a first hand example of faithfulness, both God's, and ours... and I have been unable to put my words and thoughts into writings that are clear and concise. Or, better yet ... understandable. And, still ... I'm not sure I've accomplished that!

We all have faith in something, and my hope ... nay, my prayer ... is that you have faith in God ... that you believe in the One that is so great and so powerful, even though He can not be "proven," "seen," or "touched." Even though He is not "tangible." After all, we don't see air, sound, or concepts, yet we have faith that they exist.

But Faithfulness -- that carries a few different ideas along with it. In this week's study, Beth Moore pointed out that in the Old Testament, faithfulness describing God was used with Hebrew words ... Aman and its derivative, Emunah. They carry the ideas of firmness, steadiness, sureness, steadfastness, faithfulness, trust, honesty, safety, and certainty. And ... when we apply this to God, the faithfulness of God is His believability. So, when we apply faithfulness to us, a believer in God, it means our belief in God's believability... resting in His certainty, being persuaded by His honesty, trusting His reality, being won over by His veracity, being sure that He's sure, and believing He's worth believing.

God is certain. He is enduring. He is true.

Now, I know many of these words are not my own. They are Beth's. But I couldn't have said it any better. And the reason why I kept starting over and over and over again is because of the place that my friend Momrn2 has found herself in. And as a mother, my heart goes out to her and her husband. I can only imagine the rollercoaster of emotions she has been on this past week.

But friends ... God has shown his faithfulness in their lives. HE HAS. And the outpouring of love, prayers and concern that she has received since Thursday has simply blown me away. Her little girl's life was hanging on by a precious, but thin thread. And God reached down, and proved, yet again, that he is faithful. He has shown his firmness, steadiness, sureness, steadfastness, faithfulness, trust, honesty, safety, and certainty in such a clear and divine way, that it can not be denied.

You see, sometimes, our faith takes us to places we don't want to be. Places that are to big for us to deal with on our own. And that's when we have to believe that God CAN, whether he DOES or DOESN'T. God may not choose to answer our prayers as he did this time for Momrn2. And, yes, that is disheartening and discouraging. But the fact still remains -- even when we are faith-less ... He still remains faithful, because that is what He is. And that's when our Faith is based wholly on WHO GOD IS, rather than what he does.

2 Timothy 2:13 says that "If we are faithless, He remains faithful; for He cannot deny Himself." It would be a denial of God's very own nature for Him to be anything other than perfectly faithful. Praise God for that, because I can't imagine a life with a God who is less than faithful!!

On behalf of my friend, who has seen God's very hand this weekend, I thank you for your faithfulness to her through your prayers and words of comfort. Even though you may not have even known her before this weekend. The community we have formed is priceless, and I am moved beyond words.

Thank you. And praise God for His faithfulness.

Update on Momrn2

A quick update on MomRN2 -- DD is in surgery as we speak. Her bowel was twisted, affecting both a vein and an artery, which may result in a dead bowel. Please continue to keep this precious family in your prayers. Her friend Heidi will continue to update us until MomRN2 is able to get to a computer.

Thanks!

Fabu-Fri with a little food fun thrown in!!

**UPDATED**
Friends, yesterday was such a busy day at work, that after I posted my meme, I didn't get a chance to go to my usual blog haunts... having said that, I was horified to find out this morning that my dear friend's (MomRN2) little 8-year old daughter, is in the hospital undergoing tests, scans, and suffering from her 10th or 11th day of non-stop vomiting. This is serious. She needs our immediate prayers. Please, please take a moment in your day to lift this beautiful family up in your prayers, and stop by to encourage her. Thanks for showing your blog-friendship and loving care!

Now my own post seems so petty and trite.
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First I'm gonna thrill you with the beauty of my day, then I'm gonna bore you with my nutritional and medical "stuff," then I'm gonna toss in some cute kid things, and finally, I'll taunt you with the mention of a yummy crock-pot meal that can be used two different ways in one week ... so stick around a while!

Today is absolutely beautiful! The sun is out, and I can actually see some light blue poking through the white cotton in our sky! The humidity is so low, I've forgotten what humidity is, and the breeze is gently blowing. It's gonna be in the mid to high 60's today... can you believe it??? Love it. It's making my Friday fabulous. Even though I'm stuck inside ... at work ... oh well ... you can't have everything ... but I promise I'll go out during lunch and suck up as much of this lovely day as I possibly can!

So, this morning, since it was so sing-songy beautiful, I thought I'd deviate from my normal scrambled egg-beater and sausage breakfast. I had me a panny-cake, as my aaaa-dddorable niece used to call them. With syrup. REAL syrup. And I had sausage, too. Why? Because I was once told by a nutritionist (oh, okay, it was last year when I was pregnant and had gestational diabetes) that if you're going to eat carbs, eat them with protein, and the carbs (ehem) will (cough, cough) break down easier and faster.

Soooooo -- if any of you nutritionists, nurses, or really smart people know any different, (like Carol, or MomRN2) you'd better break the news to me gently. And since this beautiful day is a pre-cursor for a really nice weekend, you'd better do it today.

Now, I've been experiencing a strange sort of ear ache. It's more like an electrical charge that smacks the middle of my ear every so often, accompanied by a dull ache. And, there's a spot on my head (right behind my ear) that hurts badly ... especially when I touch it or brush it (so I try not to do that) -- I think there are glands back there somewhere, and I think they are hurting -- badly. But, since I'm not a real doctor, just a Google doctor, I really can't accurately diagnose why I'm feeling so yucky. Oh, and my throat hurts, and half of my face. So I'm guessing either allergies, a sinus infection, or both. Great way to start the weekend! Aaahhh, heck... If anyone out there thinks they know what ails me... feel free to chime in.

Anyway, my beautiful, adorable son is doing some new stuff and making us laugh so hard! After all, he was put on this earth mainly to entertain his parents and make them roll on the floor laughing, if not wetting their pants! He will.not.crawl. HATES being on his belly and will immediately flip over if put in that horrible, terrible position. But loves being in his exersaucer, and this past week, he began jumping up and down in it like a little monkey! So, out came the Johnny-Jump-Up-Clamp-Over-The-Door thingie ... and he loooooohhhhuuuuvs it! It is stinking hilarious to watch him jump all around in that thing! (And the best part ... I got it for free ... a hand-me-down from my sister of 4! Love those kind of toys!!!) Anyway, he laughs so hard and gets this funny look of concentration (not consternation, and definitely not constipation) on his face when he starts to jump in that thing. Then, the other night, I was holding his hands, and he started to jump his way down the hall to the bath tub. So, it looks like I may have a non-crawler-Mexican-jumping-bean for a son! Hey -- this girl's gotta be different, ya know!

So, because I know you're dying for more fun stuff ... okay, I'll share some more. I frequently give Hunter "eskimo kisses" (rub noses) and he really didn't get it at first ... that is until the other night! I went to give him an eskimo kiss, and the started laughing his little head off ... and shrieking. Did I mention he loves to shriek? So "adorable." Anyway ... last night, when I got home from work, he actually started laughing as I collected him in my arms and went towards the nose, and he pushed his head towards mine to get an eskimo kiss from his momma. And when I finished and pulled away, he pushed his face towards me again. I tell you -- the child is a genius. AAAANNND -- he melts my heart. And his daddy's, too, but this is all about me.

Now, for the deeelish meal teaser ... at the beginning of the week, I made a yummy crock-pot mexi-flare roast. Oh, my it was heavenly, and shredded beautifully, and whoo-ahhh -- it just melted in your mouth. (Yes, I actually said the banned whoo-ahhh word) The secret was in the seasonings, the cut of meat, and the sauce. Theeeeen, because I'm so brilliant -- oh, okay -- because I watch a lot of cooking shows, I got the idea to use the leftover shredded meat and make easy-peasy Mexi-flare Empanadas. Sigh, sigh, sigh. We ate them last night, and even though I was feeling sick, I enjoyed them soooo much. Yuuu-hhuuum.

Yeah, yeah ... whatever ... I'll share the recipe(s) with you ... just hold your apron on! Just don't forget where you got it!!!

Mexi-flare Crock-pot Roast

-3 to 5 lb beef roast (I prefer the eye-round roast -- it's long and thin, and I get two at Costco for like $13-15)
-1 pound bag of carrots, peeled and cut into 2" pieces
-2 or 3 baking potatoes, peeled, and cut into long 2" pieces
-1/2 large sweet onion (I use Vidalias) cut into big chunks (they will sweeten up and pretty much disappear while cooking)
-Flour to coat the roast
-Season-all Salt
-garlic powder
-Ground black pepper

Sauce
-1 (14-oz) can diced tomatoes
-1/3 cup brown sugar
-2 teaspoons chili powder
-1 teaspoon ground cumin
-1 teaspoon garlic powder
-1 teaspoon onion powder

Trim fat off of roast. Generously season the roast with the season-salt, black pepper and garlic powder. Cover the whole roast with flour. Place all the cut vegetables in the bottom of a large crock pot, and put roast on top.

In a medium-sized bowl, combine all the sauce ingredients. Pour over the roast. Cook on low to medium for 8-12 hours (if possible, turn the roast over towards end of cooking time so it gets completely coated with the sauce).

Remove roast from crock pot and place on a cutting board to "rest" for about 5-10 minutes. Transfer veggies to a serving bowl (or keep in crock to maintain warmth), and transfer all of sauce into a pot to thicken. Thicken slightly (to BBQ sauce constancy) with a combination of cold water and flour. Shred the meat with two forks (saving 1/3 of it for later on in the week), and serve with the sauce and vegetables. MMMMMMM!

Now, you have the main ingredient for another easy meal later on in the week!

Mexi-Flare Empanadas

1 package refrigerator pie-crust
left-over shredded meat
diced green chiles
chopped cilantro
Sargento 4-cheese mexican shredded cheese combination

Let pie crust come to room temp for about 20 minutes. Unroll one crust and place on counter. In the 4 "corners", place a mount of shredded meat, and top each mound off with diced green chiles, chopped cilantro, and shredded cheese. With a pastry brush (or your finger) "paint" water all around the crust and in a cross shape in the middle of the crust. Place the top crust on, and press down lightly. With a pizza cutter (or knife), cut into 4. Crimp edges with a fork. Bake at 425 degrees until pie crust is nice and golden-brown.

There you have it ... TWO for ONE food fun on this Fabu-Fri-day.

So, now I'm off to design a beaded hand-made, and certainly, by no means, cheaper, gift for 6 female high-school grads, and try and think of a "cool" gift for 1 male HS grad. If you have any ideas, drop me a comment!

Have a fantabulous weekend, and make sure to catch all the LBY comments this evening and tomorrow! (links to the left)

Mememememe!!!!!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen ... another wonderful Meme coming your way, curtosey of the ever lovely and talented Faith from Faithful Mommy...

What is your favorite word? Beloved -- it is so intimate, so caring, tender and gentle.

What is your least favorite word? Hate -- 'nough said.

What turns you on spiritually,creatively,emotionally ?
spiritually - Worship, Christian Music, Scripture
creatively - Beautiful things
emotionally - Tenderness

What turns you off? Fighting, contention, back stabbing, cursing.

What's your favorite curse word? Shoot! (I need to find a better one)

What sound or noise do you love to hear? My son laughing, and waves crashing.

What sound or noise do you hate? Teeth scraping against silverware.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Photographer

What profession would you not like to do? Economist

If Heaven exists,what would you like to hear God say at the pearly gates? IF heaven exists? Well -- it does, and I would LOVE to hear God say, "Welcome home, beloved."

Now, I'm going to tag: Flip Flop, 'cause I love her blog; Overwhelmed, 'cause I want to get to know her better; and Shalee, because I love the way she writes.

Boys, boys, boys!

I'm sitting here reading, and re-reading this post, and each time I go to press the "Publish Post" button, I chicken out. Why? Because I want to make sure I do this post justice without hurting any feelings, sounding judgmental, or pious. So, if I offend, or come across as harsh, please forgive me. I just want to speak my mind as delicately as possible. DEEP BREATH. Here we go...

Everyday Mommy has pulled together a wonderful grouping of posts she has written called Like Joshua where she discusses our roles as moms in raising our boys to be Godly men, and what the world is doing to attack our efforts. She also extends a challenge to us (moms) to "employ the God-given motherly influence we have to raise our sons to be like Joshua." Please, please take a moment to read her posts and the comments. They are really good! And, they inspired me to really think about my own son, and what our goals are for him!

As I started to write this, one question was going over and over in my head... Do you think there is an epidemic in our world for Godly male role-models? I do ... I hate that many men "act the way they do" because they think "that's the way they are," and use it as an excuse. They accept that their "masculinity" renders them incapable of being gentle, nurturing, or viewing things from an emotional perspective. But scripture tells us to not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Many worldly fathers are often unavailable. They don't communicate well, and possibly don't care. They focus on either their own success, or just keeping their heads above water. Boys are taught to "take it like a man," "real men don't cry," and "sensitivity equals weakness." Many boys will go without receiving acts of affection from their parents ... not just their fathers, and boys are considered "tough," and are treated like that and expected to act that way. This is the epidemic I'm concerned about.

There is just so much for a boy to learn on his way to becoming a man ... especially a man of God. When boys look around them to see what makes a healthy, Godly man, don't you think that they get contradictory, confusing, and inconsistent information about what defines being a man?!

I know when I was pregnant, I really wanted a girl, because I was so intimidated about raising a son ... after all -- I am a girl! But you know what the good news is? My son was God's idea! Praise God for that! I am so head-over-heels in love with this little boy, and as his mom, I can be influential in teaching him how to go from boyhood to manhood, shaped by God's character and purposes.

Some of my goals (along with my husband, of course) in raising my/our son are: teaching him how to be "emotionally intelligent;" how to respect people not just their elders; how to "grow a heart" for God; how to live life responsibly and independently; how to be a man with honor and integrity; how to deal with failures, loss and grief that life is bound to hand him; how to find joy in the mundane; how to love, honor, cherish and respect his wife; how to love and raise his own children. And ... that's just a few of my goals! Granted, some of them have been 'coined' by other people, but hey ... they're my goals too (and there's a lot of them)!

You see, I consider it an honor to have been handed this little child to care for and raise. And, I honestly feel that a mother's influence on her son(s) is unique and valuable. I only have a very few, short, not-long-enough-18 years with him until he legally becomes a "man" in the world's eyes (GAAH!), and I want to make every minute count so that I can make the biggest, Godliest impact on his life, hopefully while directing him to eternal things!

Now, I'll be the very first to admit that I know nothing about raising boys. Okay, girls either. But ... I have many friends (in person and in blog-land) that are either raising boys or have raised boys, that I can go to for advice. Dr. James Dobson has written for years about the importance of the traditional family (a dad and a mom) and especially the critical role that fathers play in the lives of young children. And, I am blessed beyond measure to have a husband who strives on a daily basis to be a Godly man. I know without a doubt that he will serve as a living example to my son, and will be involved in every aspect of his life. I also see characteristics in both my dad, and my father-in-law that are Godly that I want my son to see.

I recently learned in my Living Beyond Yourself Bible study that women are powerful and influential... so, when it comes to raising Godly sons, how can we use that power and influence? Well -- we can start by encouraging our husbands to be the head's of our households. I read on a blog somewhere that an "empowered man as head of the household is better and creates less strife than the co-captain of a ship, which can run a ground." We can also find ways to enable him to have quality time with the kids ... date nights, family nights, sports, scouts, walking the dog, yard work, movie time, etc.

"It is a wise father that knows his own child."

William Shakespeare

Fathers are important and valuable in our sons lives, and many dads don't discover this until it's too late. I'm reminded of something I once heard at a youth conference ... the speaker said there are three kinds of dads: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who ask what happened! As a woman, we can use our "power and influence" to encourage our husbands to be the kind of dad that "makes things happen."

And another thought that crossed my mind ... It is difficult to be a single mom. It can be discouraging, and I'm sure there are many times when a single mom feels like she's reached the end of her rope. Women who do not have godly men to look up to in their own families need our support and the guidance of a godly church body that upholds biblical roles and believes in supporting the fatherless and the widow. We can all help single moms cope. We can encourage them, and be actively involved in their lives.

We can also help them by mentoring their children. You might be thinking that you just don't have the hours in your day or even the knowledge needed to make that kind of commitment. Well, mentoring doesn't always have to involve the huge amount of time and energy that you might think, and you don't need a four-year "mentoring degree" in order to make a positive impact on children around you! Simply investing even an hour a week with a child -- taking them out for ice cream with your family, helping him with his math homework, sharing Scripture and ultimately just loving him or her can make a world of difference. You can be a family, an empty-nester, a single person, or a couple that doesn't have children yet. All you need to do is take the first step towards making a difference!

And, it's not just the single moms that need our help. In the past year and a half, my husband has started taking our PastorMan's son (who is in 8th grade) fishing... he started this before our son was born, and the thing about fishing is ... they have all kinds of time to talk about silly stuff, as well as spiritual stuff. I KNOW his dad is a Godly man, and loves his son, and spends quality time with him ... but I also know that his dad is a busy man, and can use all the help he can when it comes to role models for his son... I know I'll certainly appreciate that from the men in our church as my son gets older... and I can promise that there are parents out there (single or not) that WILL appreciate your positive influence in their kids lives.

Finally, we should also remember the many children here in the US, and around the world who don't have a family. Now, more than ever, the privilege of adoption is something that Christians, in particular, need to consider. For an orphaned or abandoned child, being adopted into a loving, intact family can literally mean the difference between life and death. As followers of Christ, there can be no higher calling than for us to extend our hands to one of "the least of these" -- the overlooked in our society -- and invite him or her into our home as a son or daughter. And another thing I learned from Beth Moore's Bible study ... is that in a very real sense, that is what God has done for each of us through His own Son, Jesus Christ. My husband and I have discussed sponsoring a child through Compassion International. That is an immediate goal of ours. But my own personal long-term goal is to one day adopt a child who is in need, and welcome them into our family as one of our own.

So -- back to the original reason for this post ... when it comes to raising my son "like Joshua" ... I'm game. Are you?

Feel free to share in the comments section your goals for your kids, and even tips on how you plan to implement them, or have already implemented them! We can all support each other and share with each other things that work and things that haven't or don't. If you don't have kids yet, I encourage you to make it a personal goal of yours to make a difference in the life of one child in your church or neighborhood.


"Be strong and courageous, for you shall give this people possession of the land which I swore to their fathers to give them." Joshua 1:6

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Additional Posts of Interest:
1) Foster Care - The "Aging Out" Dilemma -- Janice's Interview (5 Minutes for Mom) with Diane (Praying for A Prodigal)
2) Why Foster Care? Part 1 of 3 by Diane from Praying for A Prodigal
3) Why Foster Care? Part 2 of 3
4) Why Foster Care? Part 3 of 3
5) She's An Expert by Carol at She Lives (an article on Parenting)

If you know of any other posts that correspond to this discussion, please let me know! Thanks.

Tuesday Toss-up

Tuesday's Toss-up is here again! It's YOUR turn to comment on my blog, and I can't wait to read your profound, funny, and at times, life changing thoughts!

Here's how it works... Read the quote, process it a bit, and comment on what the quote means to you (it's a long one today!). Oh, and don't worry about the length or theology behind your comment ... it can be short & sweet, or long and detailed... just GO FOR IT!!

"You are great, Lord, and greatly to be praised. Great is your power, and of your wisdom there is no end. And man, who is part of what you have created, desires to praise you. Yes, even though he carries his mortality wherever he goes, as the proof of his sin and the testimony of your justice, man desires to praise you. For you have stirred up his heart so that he takes pleasure in praising you. You have created us for yourself, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you."

The Confessions of St. Augustine

Don't forget to check back and see what others are saying!

Nothing like a Monday Meme!

I was tagged by Carol at She Lives, and Heather at Funny Thoughts About Life's Crazy Happenings -- you may know her as Heather from The Rollercoaster Ride of My Life (girlfriend has time for two blogs -- go figure!).

Accent: Slightly Southern, so I've been told. Northern-southern?

Bible Book that I like: I love the book of Ruth. A beautiful story in many ways -- a story of undying devotion between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law; a love story between a man and a woman; a story of kindness, blessing, and redemption. It's a biblical novel of sorts!!!

Chore I don't care for: Gardening. I know, I know ... many don't consider it a chore, but a pleasure to do ... but because I dislike it so much, it's a chore for me. Oh, and scrubbing floors and tubs/showers. GAAH!

Dog or Cat: My first "child" was my dog -- a sweet, gentle, loyal Maltese. The best family lap dog ever, and so gentle with children. Even when they pull on her tail, hair, ears, etc.

Essential Electronics: Cell phone, laptop/computer

Favorite Cologne: Clinique's Happy. Love it. Won't wear anything else.

Gold or Silver: SIL-ver. All the way, baby! Or white gold. Especially with diamonds!

Handbag I Carry Most Often: Right now, I carry a little Vera Bradley toggle bag in petal pink and lime green. But, I'm waiting on two bags that I'll switch over to as soon as either one arrives ... THIS one in Black with Pink Gingham ... and something like THIS one in black and white with lime green polkadots.

Insomnia: Every now and then. Sometimes I lay awake until 1, 2, 3 in the morning and finally fall asleep, and sometimes, I wake up at 2 or 3 and can't get back to sleep. Less now than before I was pregnant -- praise God for that!

Job Title: Financial Analyst at work; honey, hun, mommy at home (my favorites).

Kids: Son -- Hunter -- 7 months old. Loveable, adorable, and the apple of my eye. Oh, and three frozen embryos ... wonder what they are? hopefully, we'll find out in another 5 months!

Living Arrangements: This sounds so "institutional" -- like in a dorm room or something like that! I live in a nice home in the Suburbs, and I would gladly trade down to a tiny apartment, if my husband were willing, just so I could stay home with my boy.

Most Admirable Trait: Compassionate.

Naughtiest Childhood Behavior: Does throwing knives at my sister count? How about laughing at her when she got her finger crushed in an automatic garage door? Or when she ate a whole bottle of children's vitamins and had to have her tummy pumped? Yeah ... I was pretty mean. But so was she! [read with a whinny voice]

Overnight Hospital Stays: One surgery and birth of one baby.

Phobias: Claustrophobia -- particularly tight, enclosed and crowded spaces ... with people pressing in on you and there's no way to go -- like elevators, metro trains, or huge packed concerts or malls... with an inability to GET OUT FAST. Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh!!! just thinking about it sends me into a tail spin.

Quote: "You are a boil on the butt of humanity." Yeah, I know -- you're thinking, "Gee whiz, GiBee -- that's real spiritual" ... but it just cracks me up! And, I love Steel Magnolias. Tons of cool quotes from that movie! I also love Jerry McGuire's "You had me at hello." Sigh. And ... "D'you know that the human head weighs 8 pounds?"

Religion: Family of God. Born again Christian -- saved by grace. Does that count?

Siblings: 1 sister. I lover her a ton and miss her (she lives about 6 hours away!)

Time I Wake Up: 6:30 am on work days, 8:00 on a good "sleep-in" day.

Unusual Talent or Skill: I can gracefully multitask like nobody's business. Unless I'm holding my son, in which case, I drop him on his face. Not many people can do that gracefully!

Vegetable I Refuse to Eat: Broccoli (okay, I eat it every now and then, but rarely) and Okra.

Worst Habit: I crack my knuckles. Very un-lady like. And I can crack the knuckles in my toes. Gross, huh?

X-rays: Girlie stuff.

Yummy Stuff I Cook: Beef Roast, Turkey with cornbread-cranberry-pecan stuffing, lasagna

Zoo Animal I Like Most: Baby animals. So cute. Especially the baby panda at our zoo.

Whew! It took me forever to get this done!

I tag, Lauren from Created for His Glory, because I simply think she needs more to do; Peach from Just Peachy, because she has an adorable new template up; Addie from Life with Little Women, because I really think she needs the distraction right now (and our prayers); Becky at Joyful Mother, because I'm just getting to know her, and I think you'll like her too!

Have fun with this, girls!

This is for all the ladies out there ...

Friends --

Let me start by saying ... my mom is 67 years old. She had me when she was 28 years old. She looks amazing, in my eyes!!!

Today is Mother's Day, and I am so thrilled, because it is my very first one with a real-live baby in my arms!! For many years, MANY years -- Mother's Day was the most painful day of the year for me, because it served to remind me that I did not have a child, and was not a mother. But my blindness and one-tracked mindedness caused me to forget one very important thing ... while I may not have been a mother to my own, I certainly served as a loving mentor to many children and teens throughout my married life. So, before I wish the Mothers a Happy day, please, allow me to tip my hat, and wish all the women who continue to struggle with infertility, and reconciling with not having a child, a wonderful, blessed, and peaceful day. You are brave. You are loved. You are precious to many. Especially Our Lord. Please know that I am honored to have such wonderful and strong women in my presence. And, my son will be a better man through sharing your love with him.

My husband honored me this Mother's day by placing a picture of me holding Hunter in the Washington Times this morning! I was floored, to say the least! When I find a link to it, I'll post it for y'all to enjoy!

Now ... I found two E-cards I wanted to share with you all for mother's day. Just click on the links, then click on "Open your E-Card" and then wait for the movie to cue up and click on the "click to start" button. Sorry for all the hoops you need to jump through, but its about as technically savy as I can get! There is a brief message from me, but the videos are the best part! Enjoy!

The first E-card is light and funny. Very cute. And really, I think we can ALL relate! (Don't forget to come back!)

The second E-card is encouraging, and very touching ... especially for all the moms that are feeling a bit discourage right now. Shannon's post from the other day touched me to the core. My heart went out to her, and all the moms that left comments on her blog. This e-card spoke volumes to me, and I just wanted to share it with all of you! (I think you'll need to click on each slide of the card to advance the pages.)

Being a mom is a tough job... and I really think God knew what he was doing when he chose the "woman" to be the "mom" -- And we're all doing a great job, raising fine children who are well behaved and who love the Lord with all their hearts.

So ... whether a mom, or a loving woman, leave this blog today knowing that you are loved. You are appreciated. You are amazing. And if you're discouraged, keep your chin up, because you are not alone, and I'm reaching my arms out through the computer offering you a warm-squeezie-kind of embrace and two extra arms to carry you through the day, week, or month until the sun shines bright in your corner again (or until all the laundry is done)!

Happy mother's day!

Warm hugs and kisses,

Beauty tips...

... from an "almost-39-but-not-quite" year old woman...

I have been blessed to be surrounded by beautiful, and Godly women! When I say beautiful, I mean inside beauty... Their beauty regime includes slathering on lots of love, spraying on some joy, dabbing on some peace, spritzing on kindness, a shake of genuineness, a sprinkle of patience, and a touch of reality.

But one of the most beautiful women I know is my mother. She is beautiful inside and out. She's a Godly woman -- the epitome of a Proverbs 31 Woman. She keeps a spotless home. She sews. She cooks. She paints. She creates. She works hard. She cares for her family. And, she's a prayer warrior, and let me just say ... when she says she's going to pray ... she does. She might be walking around her home, sitting on her bed, on her knees, or flat on her face. But she's praying. I've seen it. In fact, I'm one of those very people she prayed relentlessly for. And Hunter is living proof of her years and years of prayers (not just hers, though ... many people prayed for Hunter, too). I knew that whenever I was down, sad, broken hearted, or even rejoicing ... I could call my mom, and she'd stop what ever she was doing and pray for me over the phone.

But I also think my mom is beautiful on the outside. She was born and raised in Lima, Peru. Her mother was Peruvian, and her father Italian (she got his nose!) ... My mom is -- well -- I'll let you guess how old she is... But I don't think she looks her age. She takes very good care of her skin. She washes her face every day -- morning and night. She removes her makeup every night before she goes to bed, splashes her face with hot water, she moisturizes with SPF creams, she uses minimal makeup, she drinks a lot of water, eats a lot of vegetables, takes vitamins, and exercises. And -- she's healthy as a horse, and has the stamina of a 16 year old. She runs circles around me! This is a picture of my mom and Hunter three days after he was born ... Go ahead ... guess how old she is!















And, while I'd LOVE to be just like my mother ... I'm not. I don't have time to stand over a sink and wash my face morning and night. Or to splash my skin with hot water to tighten the pores. But, I have come up with a lot of "shortcuts" inspired by my mom, friends and co-workers, "accidental discoveries," and even my son! So here are a few beauty secrets of mine. Some of them you probably already know or do. Some of them, you might think are really good ideas, and might implement them, or toss them. And one of them, you might think "boy, I can't believe she shared that with people!" But either way, here they are ... do with them as you see fit!

Tip #1: As I said before, I don't have time to stand over the sink and wash my face. But, I do keep a tube of Mary Kay's Timewise 3-in-1 Cleanser in my shower, and wash my face every morning when I shower. Mary Kay has nice products, and they last forever, but they can be pricey ($18 for this cleanser) -- so I'm not necessarily recommending the Mary Kay cleanser -- just keeping any cleanser in the shower and using it is what I'm recommending ... But, I do highly recommend NOT using plain old soap. It's too drying for the skin.

Tip #2: I totally believe in moisturizing your face. DAILY. With SPF. End of discussion. But, I will share a product I discovered and love. Normally, I prefer Oil of Olay's Total Effects 7X Visible Anti-Aging Vitamin Complex - With UV Protection -- but unless you've suddenly come into some of that "Texas Tea -- Black Gold -- Bubblin' Crude" (Carol???), this product can run you about $18!! So, in an effort to save a bit of money, I stumbled upon the Generic CVS brand at $13, and it is a better moisturizer! Make sure you smooth it down your neck and even on your chest.

Tip #3: I use very little makeup -- no foundation, only moisturizer, eyliner and mascara. Occasionally, I'll use some shadow when I dress up, but I don't normally have time to doll myself up every day. But I've discovered two products I love ... I use Mary Kay's Signature Eyeliner in Sable, and its smudge proof. It lasts all day -- under my eyes -- where it belongs -- NOT ON MY FACE! No smudging or running. And I chose to use the color Sable, because it's not as harsh as black, but not as washed out as brown. It's a great mechanical pencil that lasts forever. As for mascara, I will only use Max Factor's 2000 Calorie Mascara Number 2 or 3 -- it's hypoallergenic, water resistant, and smudge proof -- and they claim it volumizes lashes up to 200% -- and trust me, it comes pretty darned close! Very long lashes!

Tip #4: I take my makeup off every night. I started off using an expensive department store eye makeup remover. Then I tried various other brands. But what I've found works the best is Pamper's Lavender Baby Wipes -- one side of the wipe is smoother than the other, and it's gentle on the eyes, and takes EVERYTHING off. It's fast, convenient and one tub of wipes costs a whole lot less than a small $10 bottle of makeup remover that is either too oily, doesn't work, and doesn't last long. AND -- it works at getting a quick stain off of your shirt when the baby spits up on you.

Tip #5: Deodorant. I use it. So should you. But a long time ago, I discovered Secret. It's strong enough for a man, but made for a woman - literally. In fact, this deodorant works so well, my husband uses it. Shhhh -- that's a secret!

Tip #5: Dry cracked heels and elbows -- I hate that! And recently, I discovered that Aquaphor Healing Ointment works wonders on those two tough spots! And again, this product is very expensive, and the CVS brand works just as well. And, I only need to use it occasionally.

Tip #5: I struggle with dry skin. STRUGGLE. Cracked, flaky, itchy, ugly dry skin. I've used every imaginable lotion on the market. Including Bath and Body Works stuff. But I accidentally discovered a lotion that leaves my skin so soft ... And I have my son to thank for this tip! I started using this product on my son, and noticed that it was leaving my hands silky smooth. So I started using it on ME too, and I love it ... Huggies Lavender and Chamomile lotion. It is gentle, leaves my skin silky soft, and smells good, too!

Tip #6: Want to keep your pearly whites, well -- white? My Pastorman's wife recently went to the dentist and the dentist told her to use a toothpaste by Arm & Hammer. She shared this with me, so I figured I'd give it a try. Well -- it cleans your teeth very well, leaves them smooth, AND whitens them! Actually, toothpastes aid in removing stains ... not literally "whitening them." Did you know that toothpastes may contain one or more of the following ingredients as an abrasive for cleaning teeth? Alumina, hydrated silica, dicalcium phosphate, salt, pumice, kaolin, bentonite, calcium carbonate (chalk), sodium bicarbonate (baking soda), calcium pyrophosphate. Interesting.

Tip #7: I used to work for a company that put on really big conferences. I did the money end of the conferences, but one year, we did a huge symposium in Kansas City for HUD. It was held in the Kansas City Convention Center ... and heavens! That place is huge!!! It covers 8 blocks, has three levels, and we used every single square inch. In fact, we needed golf carts to get around! By the end of the week, I had managed to break one toe, and bruise several others. Owww! But one of the experienced conference planners gave me a strange tip that might be useful for whenever you plan on being on your feet for a long time ... She recommended spraying antiperspirant on your feet. It helps prevent blistering, and energizes them, and gets them going for a good long time. And at the end of a long day on your feet, you can roll the can back and forth under your foot for a quick massage. Weird, huh?

I had another tip, but I can't remember what it was ... anyone have a tip for my memory?

Hopefully, I'll look as young as my mother does when I'm her age... And, if you have any beauty tips, share them with us in the comments!

I was just tagged by Carol and Heather to do a Meme, and it's going to require some thinking. As if I don't do enough of that at work -- LOL!!! So, I'll get to it this weekend, and post it on Monday -- will that work?

Have a blessed day in the Lord, and don't forget to bask in his love.

Random acts of Kindness ... and Ignorance!

OOPS! Edited to add -- I almost forgot to tell you that Hunter's second tooth broke through yesterday. Poor baby! Owie!

Hi, all! I was totally swamped today with work (yawn, I'm exhausted) ... and I didn't get to ANY of my blogs today! Pooh! And then, I discovered through a random act of "ignorance" (uh, yeah ... on my part) that I haven't been going to ALL the blogs that were bookmarked on my favorites, because my computer crashed two (or was it three?) weeks ago, and when they (IT) gave me my new laptop, they only gave me a partial copy of all my favorites. THE NERVE! So ... if you haven't seen me on your blog, can you leave me a comment telling me so, and I'll re-bookmark you! Thanks ... and sorry about that! It really wasn't anything personal!

And now ... for some Random Acts of Kindness ...

Okay -- first of all, we had a Board of Deacon's meeting tonight, and would you believe that my dear friend that makes those yummy cakes with the most delish frosting MADE ME A CAKE!!! She's so sweet... adorable ... and you all would absolutely LOVE her (I have a feeling she reads your blogs every now and then, cause she obviously reads mine!)... So, thanks trendy mama! I appreciate the cake more than you know ... but understand that those extra 5 pounds I've gained in the last month are killing me, so I just HAD to share the cake with the Board. Besides ... they were all drooling! hehe! And it was YUMMY!

Now -- I had two new guests comment on yesterdays post ... and you are not going to believe this. In fact, I DON'T believe it!!! Becky from Joyful Mother gave ME an award. I'm stunned! Thank you so much for the award for a well designed blog ... and all the credit really belongs to none other than Susie (check her blog out -- SusiePie -- very cute with a freshly updated new look) at A Little Luxury -- she is so talented and the brains behind my absolutely adorable template! Becky -- I can't wait to devour your blog tomorrow, because I we've got a lot of things in common, and we're going to be fast friends! Your blog is adorable, and I love your banner -- especially all the feet ... very cute.

And speaking of fast friends -- another fast friend will be Zoe from Zoe's Thoughts -- Oh yeah!! Now I have an international friend!!! And don't you love that name? Adorable.

Now, I must say that I really thought the bath ring was no longer being made because of all the ummm ... accidents (to put it gently) in the US that were related to this bathing ring. I even searched for it on line, and could not find one anywhere at all!!!

Until yesterday. When I got not one, but TWO links to two different bathing rings. And I must say, it certainly looks like they are making them a lot safer than the older models. In fact, Sandra from Diary of a SAHM gave me a link to a nice one with toys on it, and Shannon from Rocks in My Dryer gave me a link to one that connects to the tub. AND ... I can't forget the advice for the sleep sacks ... especially the awesome one that Heth from Under the Laundry Pile left me ... I think that will work out well!

So, Thanks to all of you for the awesome advice, encouragement, affirmation, and lovins, hugs and smooches you sent for Hutner. He sends it right back at you.

Finally, I had typed a bunch of beauty tips for y'all ... but for some reason, my entire page went blank, and when I went to "Recover Post" -- it only gave me HALF of what you currently see. And I was too tired to go back and find all the links [read lazy] ... so I'll share my secrets with y'all tomorrow. Maybe. If I have some free time.

So, GO TO BED, will ya? You're keeping me awake!!!

Smooches! [editorial note: spell check brings up "smashes" for "smooches" -- so "SMASHES" to y'all!]

Call me crazy, but ... I'm looking for some baby advice

One thing I'm finding about being a new mom is that it's tough knowing what the best thing is to do for your little one. American Academy of Pediatrics says one thing. Doctors say another. And moms say yet another thing! It makes it difficult to figure out what to do!

So here I am ... getting ready to ask all of Hunter's "internet Aunties" for advice ... because I just can't get enough from other sources ... There are a few "questions" I have, and I don't know what to do... so I was wondering if you could share your opinions, or what you have done or currently do with regards to those particular issues! It doesn't matter how old your kids are now ... any opinions are welcome. Now, they aren't "major" or "serious" things ... just something I need a bit of guidance on. I would be eternally grateful!

Background: Hunter is 7 months old, he weighs close to 20 pounds, and is about 28 or 29 inches long ... and he's in a size 12 month now ... big boy!!!

Question #1: When we put Hunter to sleep, it can be a bit cool in his room. We put a blanket over him (cotton with satin trim), and he also has his "silky" blanket (chenille with satin trim on one side, all satin on the other side), which he adores and cuddles. We've also tried the small "security" blankets with the stuffed animal in the middle, and the same sized "security" blanket without the animal (satin on one side, chenille on the other). Unfortunately, he insists on pulling any and all blankets over his face, and that seems to be the way he puts himself to sleep. He also does it throughout the night, and I have this gut wrenching feeling that he's going to suffocate himself, or die from SIDS. I know, I know ... you're probably thinking I'm being a bit dramatic ... and maybe I am. But what I need advice on, is ... is it common for infants to sleep with blankets over their face? Is it okay? Or should I take all the blankets out of his crib? And if I do that, what will he comfort himself and cuddle with or how will he keep warm? (He has long outgrown the "wearable blankets") How long did y'all continue having your baby sleep on a wedge? I took his wedge out of his crib this past weekend, because he kept pushing himself way above the wedge, and then was falling asleep in a weird angle (half on, half off). He rolls all around, and ends up sideways some times. This also causes him to get "wrapped up" in his blanket. Is it okay to have him sleeping flat in his crib at 7 months?

Question #2: Hunter has been eating solids since he was 4&1/2 months old (based on his doctor's direction). He started on rice cereal in his bottle when he was a newborn (because he had issues with acid reflux and projectile vomiting), and moved to one thick rice & formula bottle at night (between whole milk and milk shake consistency) around 2 or 3 months old, then on to vegetables and fruit by 4&1/2 months old. Now he eats 8 ounces of formula at 6:30 am, cereal and fruit mix for breakfast (between 1/2 jar and 1 full jar) around 8:30 am, 4 ounces of formula around 10:30 am, a vegetable for lunch around noon (again, between 1/2 jar and 1 full jar), 8 ounces of formula at around 2:00 pm, at dinner time (between 5 and 6 p,) he eats 1 full jar of meat with fruit or veggie combo (i.e. chicken and pears or turkey and sweet potatoes) 1/2 jar of veggies and 1/2 jar of fruit, and then at 8:00 pm, he gets his last bottle (he drinks between 6-8 oz) before bed time. My question is... is he getting enough food, or too much food during the day, and does he still need his last bottle of formula? Am I giving the child too much food? He also gets about 2-4 ounces of very watered down juice in the afternoon.

Question #3: Has anyone ever actually used one of these inflatable tubs? Hunter has outgrown his infant tub (even if he sits on the toddler side), but he's still too instable to sit him in the big bathtub. Any suggestions on what to do next?

Okay -- that's my laundry list of questions. Again, they aren't really critical, just something I need some guidance or advice on... so, have at it!

Tuesday Toss-up

Good morning, beautiful friends!!! I'm coming to you live from the cold, rainy East Coast... Err, sorry. I got a little carried away.

Once again, it's Tuesday Toss-up ... and it's a fun one! No thinking ... no analyzing ... no deciphering ... just plain, enjoying music.

Today, I'm going to point you in the direction of the new video from Mercy Me called "So Long to Self." Once you click on the link below, and are at Mercy Me's website, click on the VIDEO button on the left. You'll notice on the right hand side a couple video options pop up (the colors make it hard to see). Click on the first video by choosing either Quicktime or Windows Media (I'm not as fancy shcmancy as some of you, and don't know how to download it onto my blog for you to view ... sorry!). Let me know if you have any problems getting there!

I hope you enjoy the video ... it's fun, upbeat, and refers to their "alter-egos!" Very funny!

Don't forget to come back and let me know what you thought of it in the comments!!!

Mercy Me -- So Long to Self

Monday Musings

Whewwww! This has been one busy weekend ... and Monday, too! It has just been NON STOP. And I'm ready to drop in bed.

But I just wanted to share a few things with you:

1) Narnia -- The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is an awesome movie. A few scary parts for young kids to watch alone, but as close to the book as I remember! Loved it!

2) Pie and Cake auction -- We had one at church yesterday. Ugh! We got one devils food cake with 7-minute frosting (yum), and one strawberry cheesecake. How much did we pay? Why, thank you for asking ... we paid a nice sum of $45! And, I made two cakes for the auction too. It was a very, VERY good fund raiser, in case your youth are looking for one. They served soup and salad (nothing fancy, just pre-packaged salad mix, some canned soup, canned chili, lemonade ... and voila! Fundraiser extraordinare! The cake I really wanted was purchased by the creator of said cake (my hilarious and very hip friend from church) ... YES... I do have friends outside of the internet... close your mouth before you catch flies! Anyway ... I didn't bid on it because she said her family wanted it (she makes awesome home-made cakes with the most incredible chocolate frosting). So she donated it, let people bid on it, and paid $20 or $25 for it ... can't remember exactly how much. One cake ... a beautiful Red Velvet cake with the most gorgeous fluffy 7-minute frosting went for $80!!! (My Pastor-man made it) So, all-in-all, Sunday was a long, but fruitful day. The youth made around $675!!!

3) Work has been crazy on-and-off ... and today ... it was ON ON ON. I need a vacation!

4) It's funny how a person can feel so sick after having a big piece of devils food cake and a tall glass of iced-milk. UGH! I'm glad I gave half of that cake away.

5) Anyone want to have lunch with me tomorrow?

Well, since my brain is obviously fried, and I have nothing exciting, profound, or even interesting to talk about, I think I'll head off to bed. I know, I know ... you're probably thinking ... "Geesh! And I wasted all this time reading this post, and got nada ... zip ... zilch!"

All I can say is ... sorry! But, don't forget ... tomorow is Tuesday Toss-up, so we'll see what YOU have to say!

Knowing the Shepherds Heart, part 3

Well, here we are at the end of this journey ... the final two characteristics I discovered while studying Psalm 23. And, I promise this one won't be as long as the other two were!

However, before we begin, there are a few things I wanted to clarify... We all have issues that tear our hearts apart. The death of a loved one, the death of a child, a child that has turned their back on the family or God, the diagnosis of a disease, infertility, the list goes on and on ... and I honestly feel that one person's suffering should not be weighed as greater than another person's suffering. For example: I believe that our 14 years of infertility carries the same amount of grief and sorrow that another couple feels from having battled with infertility for two years. Therefore, please don't feel for one minute that I am judging anyone's struggle with grief of any kind, or that I am placing grief over different issues in "categories" or "levels of pain." Suffering is suffering -- plain and simple.

I also honestly feel that grief is personal, unique, and it's a long and hard process with many stages. It would not be fair for anyone to say to me or you, "it's silly for you to be grieving over this" or, "you've grieved long enough." At the same time, I'm not saying that when we are handed bad news, we should shout for joy, paste a smile on our faces, be happy and ignore the sad feelings welling up in us.

I acknowledge that each person's outcome to their journey is different, but we each have the same choices on how we can handle the journey and its outcome. We can either 1) hide our heads in the sand, choosing to ignore the issues, 2) we can become angry, bitter, resentful and blame God as we slowly harden our hearts towards him and walk away from him, or 3) we can run to him and seek his guidance, love, compassion, joy and peace, trusting all the while that he knows and understands what we are going through, that he has a plan for our lives, and that his ways are always the best way. And, whether he chooses to heal us hear on earth, or heal us in heaven (in my case, give me a child here on earth, or a gaggle of them in heaven), we can find joy in our circumstances.

I'm sure there are many, many other choices on how to handle grief, but these are the ones that come to my mind right now. Does that make any sense whatsoever???

There is a song that provided me with so much comfort -- it's called Trust His Heart (Written by Eddie Carswell and Babbie Mason):

All things work for the good, though sometimes we can't see how they could. Struggles that break our hearts in two; sometimes blind us to the truth. Our Father knows what's best for us, His ways are not our own. So when your pathway grows dim and you just can't see Him, remember He's still on the throne.

Chorus: God is too wise to be mistaken; God is too good to be unkind. So when you don't understand, when don't see his plan, when you can't trace his hand, trust His heart.

He sees the master plan, He holds the future in his hand. Don't live as those who have no hope, while our hope is found in Him. We see the present clearly, but he sees the first and last. And like a tapestry He's weaving you and me, to someday be just like him.

I hope you find the same encouragement that I did from the words of this song.

Okay -- here are the final characteristics that will help us Know the Shepherd's Heart.

V. Trusting the Shepherd that Renews and Heals -- "You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil." (v5)

My second IVF procedure had taken place, and I remember crying out to God. "I've suffered for so long. How much longer until I can have my own child, Lord?" And then, I realized that I was trying to control God again. So once again in my journey, I changed the way I was praying, and my prayer became: "Lord, whatever you have for me, I accept it from your hand. Give me grace. Wrap your arms around me, renew my heart and mind, and help me accept whatever Your plans are for us."

Fifteen days later, on the day we were supposed to find out if we were pregnant or not, I remember saying during my morning prayers: "Today is the day Lord. Today we find out if I am pregnant. Oh Lord, we have waited for so long for you to do this. We want so badly to have a child, but prepare my heart for whatever the answer is." I was so scared and worried.

And then, I remembered the scripture I shared previously with you: Phil 4:6-7 -- "Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down." It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life, and in its place gives you a peace that only He can give. One that "comes and settles you down."

The word displace means: To move or shift from the usual place or position; to take the place of.

That's what happens when Christ "displaces" worry -- He moves it... shifts it... and takes the place of it.

Again -- I saw a shift in my prayers as I began to pray: "Lord, help me to lay aside all of my worry. Renew my heart, my mind and my energies. I know that you are in control of this situation. I trust that your plan is best. If the answer is no today, then I will still praise you. Give me your strength Lord, fill me with your peace and strength."

Later that afternoon, we got an answer. Not only was I pregnant, but my numbers were stronger than I had ever had. It was a VERY VIABLE pregnancy... And, I had to go off and find a spot to praise God with every fiber in my being.

Praise the Lord! He looked upon us with favor. I thanked Him for the child within me. He answered our prayers. After fourteen long years the day had finally come. "He has made the barren woman a joyful mother of children." What a blessing He gave us, and we readily acknowledged that this was only by His hand, in His timing, making it His plan!

That evening, we prayed together and thanked the Lord, and prayed for our child. After desiring a child for so long, we knew that the health and life of our child was in the Lord's hands. Both of our families were praying and several prayer chains were started at our church, as well as in my parent's church in North Carolina and in many small groups from the church our new Pastor came from back in Ohio. We felt overwhelmed with a sense of peace. We knew God was in control. It was a miracle that fear never gripped my heart.

Proverbs 18:10 says, "The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run in to it and they are safe." God's name is a place of protection! I can run there, and I will be safe! Even though I'm surrounded by danger and turmoil, not only am I safe, but he will heal me.

VI. Trust the Shepherd who Blesses, Loves and Fills us with Joy -- "My cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life. And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." (v5c-6)

God has blessed us so much. My heart overflows each and every time I look into the eyes of my son. He is so good, and he loves us so much. I am in awe of his perfect timing. I have come to personally know and feel God's strength, love, and compassion through the power of prayer. The Lord can make any situation for us here on earth pleasant, wonderful, even miraculous by the very anointing of his Spirit and the joy of His salvation. And I constantly remember one thing... my cup overflows.

He has brought me through the fire refined. And I honestly feel that He is preparing me to minister to other sisters or families that struggle with needs so painful they break our hearts in two. They may not be struggling with infertility, but we each have our own personal and painful battles that we struggle with. Deserts we walk through. And we CAN come out victorious.

Charles H. Spurgeon once said, "Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you. So carve your name on hearts and not on marble."

I hope that I have a long list of people that are helped by me... people that can carve my name on their hearts, because, truly, I have been blessed by a long list of people that have their names carved on mine.

Psalm 95:2-3 in the Message translation says: "Let's march into his presence singing praises, lifting the rafters with our hymns! And why? Because GOD is the best, High King over all the gods."

Praise God ... He IS the best!



All Contents Copyright [2005-2006] by GiBee at Kisses of Sunshine -- Please do not use contents without prior permission from the author. Thank you.

Knowing the Shepherds Heart, part 2

Yesterday, I presented two of six characteristics I discovered while studying Psalm 23 -- Trusting the Shepherd who Cares and Provides, and Trusting The Shepherd of Rest and Peace -- The Shepherd who Restores my Soul. (well, really, anyone can discover them (they just have to read the Psalm, so it's not like I'm brilliant or anything!)

These posts aren't filled with rocket science, or eloquence or deep spiritual theology -- just what was on my heart at the lowest time of my life, and what I learned. Here are two more characteristics I discovered ... it's another really long one, but I hope you stick it out with me!

III. Trusting The Shepherd that Guides Me and Protects Me. "He guides me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil." (v3b-4a)

If you look at the verses above, you will notice that there are two parts to this equation -- Guidance and Protection. Before we started working with our Fertility Clinic, my husband and I prayed and prayed and prayed. We wanted to be sure this was God's direction. After many, many months of agonizing silence from God, I went to my friend, my confidant of all things female, my prayer partner -- my sister-in-law. I cried, I complained, and I told her how I just didn't know what to do, I couldn't HEAR God, and this was something I wanted to be SURE was his will for our lives. I needed his direction, and I couldn't find it!

My ever wise sister suggested that maybe I should change the way I was praying. Maybe I should start praying that God would bless the difficult decisions that we had to make, and ask that his hand be in all the procedures that we would endure.

So I did. And God was with us, of that I have no doubt. But looking back now, I can see that God did answer our prayers and provided us with clear direction, but I was so overcome with worry and fear, that I didn't see it. Some of the ways that he provided us with clear direction were "no-brainers" ... He provided us with insurance that covered 100% of the procedures at the time we were starting off (it changed later on to 90% -- but still awesome coverage, huh?). He provided us with a doctor who was so gracious and kind, and attentive. He provided us with a praying and supportive family and friends. He opened a satellite office to our Fertility Clinic not more than 8 miles away from where we lived. But when you are consumed with fear and worry, sometimes you don't see the "no-brainers!" In fact, I've mentioned on this blog many, MANY times that sometimes, I pretty much need a Mack truck to slam into me before I can see God's answers plain as day.

I'm sure you're wondering WHY I didn't see these things as answers to prayer or as God's direction. Well, sometimes, we just don't see or hear clearly the direction God wants us to take. But most of the times, there are reasons why -- and looking back now, I can see that I was in a very dry place in my life. I was not studying scripture, or spending quality time with God. I was so worried about ME, and MY WANTS.

If we want to HEAR God's direction, we have to be spending time with Him, in His word, and being still -- listening for his direction. Shocking revelation, huh?

And then, there's the "Protection" part of the equation -- "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil" -- While we were going through infertility treatments, I would get so anxious on the day that I would go in for blood work to see if I was pregnant. Five times I had procedures with this clinic, and five times I had pregnancy tests. And each time, it became increasingly more difficult for me to answer the call from the doctors office and to hear the answer that I just knew they were going to give me. And each time, I would get the same answer -- "your beta (pregnancy test) is positive, but your numbers are too low or not doubling." And, each time, I would fall apart. I would worry. I would cry and I would prepare my self for what I knew was going to happen. A miscarriage.

And after the fourth procedure, I was pregnant, but was told that we had to terminate the pregnancy with Methotrexate, which is a form of chemotherapy that kills all living and rapidly reproducing cells. In other words, kill my baby.

It was the most agonizing decision I ever had to make. I knew that I was pregnant, but they couldn't find a sac whenever they did a sonogram. They labeled this as an ectopic pregnancy, even though the sac wasn't in my tubes. I was told that we needed to terminate the pregnancy because my life could be in danger -- but still -- I was pregnant. It was my one heart's desire. And I had to give my doctor written permission to terminate this pregnancy. My heart was shattered. This was such an agonizing decision. I had to literally sign of on the dotted line to kill my baby, even as I desparately hung onto hope that the sac would just appear out of now where. But even as I walked through this "valley of the shadow of death," I knew I didn't have to fear, because God would protect me. Your valley may be different, but pain is pain, and God still holds us near to his heart and cares for what we are feeling.

As the Shepherd began to heal my heart again, I began to realize that my hopes did not lay in any earthly hands. My doctors couldn't "make" me get pregnant, and they certainly couldn't "keep" me pregnant. That was obvious to me after 4 miscarriages. They could use all their God given knowledge, but ultimately, my hope had to be in the Shepherd's hands. I had to trust His heart. And that was very hard to do, because I.COULD.NOT.SEE.HIS.HEART. And, if you're there now, or have ever been there, than you know how this can cause us to loose hope!

Romans 15:13 - Oh! May the God of hope fill you up with joy, fill you up with peace, so that your believing lives, filled with the life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit, will brim over with hope!

That became so powerful to me! "Life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit" that gives me hope. I don't know about you, but I WANT THAT. And this one small scripture filled my broken heart with hope. Filled me with peace. Encouraged me to continue believing and having faith in the Shepherd that Guides Me and Protects Me even when I was crawling ever so slowly through the valley of death -- each and every time.

Many times, we hope and pray a miracle. I know I did -- desperately, in fact. But we need to remember that even when we don't get the answers we want -- we still know who we have trusted in, and we need continue to be faithful to God, because while His will may not always be ours, it is usually better!

Jeremiah 29:11-14 -- "I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out--plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." (the Message)

Notice what this scripture says -- He knows what He's doing. He has it all planned out! When we call on him, and when we come to pray, he will listen to us!! Look what else it says -- "when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." YOWZA! When we get SERIOUS about finding Him, and want it MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE -- He will make sure we are not disappointed! Notice how the focus was taken off of our desires, wants or needs, and placed back on us seriously seeking HIM and wanting it more than anything else! I had taken my focus and desire off of God and had "filled my basket" with my desire for a baby. I really had to make a change in my attitude, my wants, and my desires!

IV. The fourth point is Trusting the Shepherd that Provides Friends and Comfort "For you are with me. Your rod and your staff the comfort me." (v4b)

So many times in my married life I have felt alone, even though my husband, who is my best friend, has always been there. And that's because our relationship was not focused on God as the center of it -- and it did not start out as the greatest of relationships, but ultimately, it has evolved to a beautiful, loving and trusting relationship, but it has required a lot of work, counseling, and a lot of change on both our parts.

My husband is very encouraging. Very positive. Very loving and caring. Always concerned. And most importantly, honest. At times brutally honest. But there are times, when you just need the shoulder of a girlfriend to cry on. Another woman who feels your pain on a different level and can offer a different depth of comfort. Someone who is honest but not brutally honest. You see, if I ask my husband if I look fat in something, my husband might say something like, "yes, honey ... you are fat, and you can't hide that with clothes" And my mind will say -- "Woa! Stop right there buddy!" (If there are any men reading, remember -- this is NOT something you want to say to your wife -- okay?) But if you ask the same thing to a girlfriend, she might say "Oh, don't worry about it! Let's start walking together every morning -- Here -- Have some chocolate. It'll make you feel better." Now, THAT's what I'm talking about!!!

And when we are faced with difficult, painful times, men process differently than women do, but the Shepherd provided me with Friends that Comfort. He knew my needs at different times through our struggles, and he knew which friend would fill my need. Whether it was a phone call, a prayer, encouragement, comfort, a card, a hug, or just letting me gripe. The Shepherd provided for me. He was with me intimately, and through the many people in my life, and it wasn't just one age group, it was a broad spectrum of women in all stages of spiritual maturity. I was blessed beyond measure and God showed his face to me in the form of my closest circle of friends, and by my sisters in the body of the church. He used them to comfort me with His rod and His staff.

John 15:12 says, "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." And a true, Godly friend will hold this scripture to heart as they minister to a hurting friend. Ralph Waldo Emerson said that the only way to have a friend is to be one. These are wise words indeed, and they parallel a beautiful scripture found in Proverbs 18:24. The Message translation reads: "Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family."

Tomorrow will be the last installment of Trusting the Shepherd's Heart -- it's the wrap-up, folks -- and you've come this far -- might as well tune in tomorrow, too!
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Next, I'd like to encourage you to stop off at Heather's blog -- The Rollercoaster Ride of my Life and read this post (from yesterday): Wednesday's Word it's a great post on Longsuffering.
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Finally, don't forget that today is the National Day of Prayer (first Thursday of May). The task force for NDP is asking "America to honor God" -- "...Those who honor me I will honor..." 1 Samuel 2:30 (NIV)

"The bottom line for the National Day of Prayer, though, is that God has given Christians "marching orders" when it comes to prayer" in 2 Chronicles 7:14 -

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." (NIV)

"We need to go to prayer, to pray that our country would have His hand of protection upon us and that our leaders would be making decisions that align with and honor God."

Have a blessed day in the Lord!


All Contents Copyright [2005-2006] by GiBee at Kisses of Sunshine -- Please do not use contents without prior permission from the author. Thank you.

Knowing the Shepherds Heart, part 1

Many of you have requested that I share the lesson I taught at our women's retreat a few weeks ago ... so here is a condensed (but still long) version.

Trusting the Shepherd's Heart -- Today, I'll share two of the six traits I discovered about the Shepherd using Psalm 23 as our main text, as well as throwing in parts of my personal testimony here and there, hopefully enabling us to really know the Shepherd better so we can "Trust the Shepherd's Heart" fully.

Knowing the Shepherd is much more important than knowing the psalm. But, knowing the psalm can help us know the Shepherd.

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. " Psalm 23 (NIV)

I. Trusting the Shepherd who Cares and Provides -- "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want." (v1)

Many times in our lives, things happen that leave us feeling scared or anxious. We wonder why these things are happening to us, or to our loved ones. Maybe it's a layoff notice, a miscarriage, a sickness or disease, an overdue bill, an empty refrigerator or gas tank, an accident, a destructive fire, or a death in the family...

There have been many times where I have prayed that God would provide for us. And he has. Most recently, having an infant, we have found that finances can be very tight, and can cause a bit of anxiety! But, my husband and I are always praying that God will take the anxiety from us, and whether it has been through a loving parent that takes us out to dinner, or provides us with formula, a sibling that has given us a financial gift, or even when we have thrown a desperate prayer into thin air, and money has popped out of the dryer while folding clothes, the Shepherd who cares has provided. There are no needs that are too small that we can't take them to our Shepherd in prayer.

Look what Matthew 6:25-34 has to say about this: "If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds. Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion--do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best--dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them. If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers--most of which are never even seen--don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." (The Message)

Okay -- that was long, but I love this scripture... especially in The Message translation. "There are far more important things in our life than the food we eat or the clothingHallelujah.. hallelujiah! God will take care of our everyday human concerns!

When we learn to trust in the Shepherd who Cares and Provides, then we learn that not only will He provide, but He will also remove our anxiety and worry from our hearts ... if we let Him! Now, He may not always provide according to our own schedule, or how we expect Him to provide ... but fortunately, He always has something better in mind! And look at the encouragement from this scripture ... it is telling us to RELAX (oh, that's hard!) and not to worry about "getting" so that God can do His thing -- and THAT'S what we can respond to!!!

I would love to stay home with my son... but I worry. Oh, yeah ... me ... worry, worry, worry ... about where the money is going to come from. But we have recently placed this worry at God's feet and we are trusting Him to provide a way. My biggest fear is going back to a life of poverty ... but really ... what's more important? "Materialistic things" or "God things?" Oh ... and did you see the last part of that verse? Yeah -- it's a big one -- Don't worry about missing out, but instead ... Give our entire attention to what God is doing right now!

II. Trusting The Shepherd of Rest and Peace -- The Shepherd who Restores my Soul. -- "He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul." (v2-3a)

What comes to mind when you hear the words "green pastures" and "quiet waters?" When I think of green pastures and quiet waters, a pleasant scene comes to my mind. One of lush, bright green, soft, fresh and clean smelling grass, with spotted clumps of flowers. A lazy slow-moving stream runs quietly beside the pasture, giving me a sense of peace and stillness.

Many times, when we are faced with difficulties, we try to take care of it ourselves. If you are anything like me, you will fret, think about it, worry, get stressed, and lay awake at night trying to figure out how to take care of the problem. When really, there's probably nothing more that we can do than to lay it down at the feet of the Shepherd who provides us with rest and peace. The Shepherd that restores our worried and fretting souls.

One of my favorite scriptures is found in Philippians 4:6-7 -- "Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life." (The Message)

Oh, my goodness! That is such a wonderful blessing to those like me that worry, worry, worry... Did you hear what I just read? Let God know your concerns ... and before you know it ... A SENSE OF GOD'S WHOLENESS will come and SETTLE YOU DOWN. Does anyone else find the same sudden comfort in this verse that I do? Wouldn't a 'sense of God's wholeness' -- his PEACE -- be a wonderful thing? Is any one with me on this?

I don't know about you, but there have been many, MANY times where I have had to take my concerns to God and BEG him to settle me down. And He does. The second I pass my cares on to him. He immediately takes my worry on his own shoulders, allowing me to feel his peace and quiet rest, because He is the Shepherd of Rest and Peace. He restores my soul.

I just have to constantly remind my self that nothing is too great, or too small to commit into the hands of the Lord. That alone gives me peace. Whatever the circumstance, 1 Peter 5:7 tells us to cast all our anxiety on Jesus because he cares for us. It's an easy thing to read or say ... but a whole different thing aboutctually do! But the best thing abot that verse is ... He Cares For Us!!!

Tune in tomorrow for another installment of... Trusting the Shepherd's Heart


All Contents Copyright [2005-2006] by GiBee at Kisses of Sunshine -- Please do not use contents without prior permission from the author. Thank you.

Email Problems

I'm having problems with some of my email messages going straight into Bulk mail and then getting deleted.

If you have emailed me directly, and I have not responded, could you drop me another line? It may be that your message was deleted by accident.

Thank you, and sorry for the inconvenience!!!

Tuesday Toss-up

Tuesday's Toss-up is here again! It's YOUR turn to comment on my blog, and I can't wait to read your profound, funny, and at times, life changing thoughts!Here's how it works... Read the quote, process it a bit, and comment on what the quote means to you.

Oh, and don't worry about the length or theology behind your comment ... it can be short & sweet, or long and detailed... just GO FOR IT!!

"The life of a Christian is an education for higher service. No athlete complains when the training is hard. He thinks of the game, or the race."
Corrie Ten Boom

Remember -- no Googling ... original "first thoughts" from YOUR heart and mind only!!! AND -- check back through out the day to see what others have shared!!!

Monday Musings ... and a Meme!

[Edited to add: Well, look at that! I was tagged by KPJARA for the same Meme! Sorry, K -- maybe next time?!?!]

First and foremost ... I am soooo enjoying my new blog dress ... thanks, Susie! Tell me something ... do y'all see some stripes with dots off to the right? 'Cause I don't see it on my computer. Just wondering.

Next ... tomorrow is Tuesday's Toss Up. Also, on Wednesday and Thursday, I'll be posting two installments of what I shared at the women's retreat.

So ... great news all ... my tests came back just fine. Praise the Lord, and thanks for all your prayers. The nurse that called me with the results said that I might have had a miscarriage, or I might have a small cyst on my ovary (my betas (on the pregnancy test) could have been either so low that they didn't register or it was too late). I still don't know what happened ... The story of my life ... but at least I'm feeling greeeaaat today.

Even BETTER news ... Hunter's first tooth broke through ... so cute ... rigid, white, and adorable! I'm so proud of him... He's going to be a dentist. I just know it!

Anyway ... my exciting life at work continues ... last week was bring your child (political correctness) to work day, and there were a bazillion kids running around ... well, the girls were busy with important things like shredding paper, separating files, creating files, refilling files... while the boys were running around "gang-like" holding their fingers in the air like guns, shimmying themselves along walls, crawling on floors, making machine gun noises, and in general ... being boys. In fact, I went into one person's office to ask a question, and he and his son were busy surfing the internet ... and let me just say ... it smelled like, well -- like BOY in that room. I held my breath while he answered my question, exhaled long enough to say thanks, and left ... running for the safety of my work area. Phew!

And, as if having kids in the work area isn't joy enough, I have a new neighbor ... he's an older man (late 50's?) that looks like an overweight Larry from the Three Stooges, and evidently has had military background of some kind, because he is constantly saying... 'Hooo Ahhh.' His phone rings ... 'Hooo Ahhh.' His email chimes ... 'Hooo Ahhh.' Someone steps into his cube ... 'Hooo Ahhh.' He finishes a task ... 'Hooo Ahhh.' I tell ya ... I'm gonna have to put a plug in his 'Hooo Ahhh' if he doesn't stop saying that!!!

Finally -- I was tagged by Sandra with this Meme -- Hope you enjoy it!

I AM: praying that God will bless us financially somehow so I can be a SAHM. Any financial sponsors out there? Just checking.

I WANT: my son to grow up with a passionate love for Christ.

I WISH: I could loose 5,000 pounds ... somehow ... anyhow.

I HATE: Contentious people.

I MISS: My parents -- they live 6 hours away ;-(

I HEAR: Tom Cruise joked about wanting to eat the placenta and umbilical cord after fiance Katie Holmes had their baby -- there is something seriously wrong with this man.

I WONDER: How many children God will bless us with.

I REGRET: Getting such a big house and being strapped to a mortgage that requires two incomes. Ugh!

I AM NOT: as organized as some people think I am. Especially not after my son was born (you should see my house today ... chaos!)

I DANCE: to 80's and latin music ... fun stuff!

I SING: Christian contemporary and praise and worship music.

I CRY: for the children that are starving and dying around the world.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: able to trust that God will provide and/or make a way. (type A personality -- control freak extraordinare)

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: anything that doesn't require extensive knowledge of using a sewing machine or power tools.

I WRITE: on my blog, your blog, their blog ... everywhere ... oh yeah, and my prayer journal.

I CONFUSE: Peacemaking with Peacekeeping.

I NEED: a good highlight job. And a brain transplant. Any donors interested?

I SHOULD: start walking more.

I START: to diet and end up eating chocolate.

I FINISH: anything chocolate. Anything.

I TAG: Faithful Mommy, Just Peachy, Momrn2, Sermon From The Mount [of laundry] (because she's bored), and The Tales of Mama D

GiBee, signing out... Hooo Ahhh