Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Because I Said So!

So, today, we're going to talk about me. Me, me, me, me, me. Why, you might ask? Well, because I said so. And, because I can. Also, because it's my blog. And mostly, because I had one of those moments where you open your mouth to speak, and your ears can NOT believe they are hearing what is actually coming out of your mouth.

You see, as you may (or may not) already know, I have three 100-celled embryos that are frozen and waiting for transfer (via IVF). My husband and I lovingly joke about our kidsicles or children on ice... and sometimes joke about how God has given us such a wonderful, calm, complacent, and totally happy baby for our first, that the three we have frozen will probably be a handful of mischief, energy and Trouble, with a capital T.

But today, as I was talking to someone in the ladies room (because that's what we womenfolk do... socialize in the ladies room), she was telling me that her second was so different from her first. The first child was calm and good. The second one was wild, and had the attention span of 5 seconds. That's when I opened my mouth to tell her that I had 3 frozen embryoes and they were probably all going to be demons. Demons. WHAT? Did I just say that? Why did I say that?

I walked away in a state of shock that I had referred to my future children as demons. I had confessed that with my mouth! I was always taught that the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart (Matt. 15:18a), and my mom always said that if you confess it, you will possess it... (I'm sure that's in scripture somewhere, I just can't pull it out of the old memory bank right now).

So, what have I done? I have basically said that I am fully expecting that the precious gifts GOD gave to us (our future children) will be so awful and ill behaved that people will be able to compare them to demons.

Sometimes, I just open my mouth without guarding what I say. Some people lovingly refer to is as a sickness -- diarrhea of the mouth. I refer to it as -- stupidity of the worst kind.

Oh, Lord, please forgive me. FORGIVE ME. These are your children, and I know they will each be unique and wonderful in their own way, and we will love them so much. I am so thankful each and every day when I think of what my future may hold, and I confess right now that I will have wonderful children. Lord, please help me guard my tongue ... DAILY. Amen.

I guess I need to memorize this: "If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom." Job 13:5

And this: "He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin." Prov. 13:3


Heidi said...

Dear Gibee, A word of relief - God is the only one who can speak things into being. I think you were just momentarily overtaken by the popular problem that the world has. Good catch. Good confession. You have a very sensitive Mother's heart.

kpjara said...

I promise I am not laughing at you, because you sounded so concerned towards the end of your email, but I did laugh when you first realized what you'd said, to a complete stranger...no less...because we have all said things (even those of us too proud to admit it aloud) that we want to take back...that's why God's grace has the "take back" power! Thank you Jesus! Don't beat yourself up but please keep us laughing!

What a pleasure to find your blog, by the way, thanks for leading me to afternoon laughter amidst my own self-imposed drama!

Anonymous said...

I can relate to your post. :-) I have a dry sense of humor, and I sometimes say "funny" things that I regret. By the way, I probably would've laughed at your joke. However, I understand why you were upset. (((HUGS))) God listens to whats in your heart, not necessarily what comes out of your mouth.


momrn2 said...

"If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom." Job 13:5

YIKES! Where did that verse come from? Has it always been there? I have a similar struggle... open mouth, insert foot. It gets me into trouble all the time.

Maybe this verse from Job should become my life verse?!?! :-)

Thanks for sharing such an honest post! We've all been there.

Shannon from Rocks In My Dryer said...

Ditto what Heidi said--I can't say it any better.

GiBee said...

Oh, my goodness, you are all such a comfort, you are so reasuring ... you are all so FUNNY, too! I LOVE my blog friends... you guys UNDERSTAND ... but more importantly ... you GET IT because you've all BEEN THERE!

Sigh... I HEART YOU!

GiBee said...

Oh, one more thing... kpjara and Steph ... so nice to have you join my crazy, crazy corner of the world! I love it when new people drop by and comment because then I find new blogs to gobble up! (except for you, kpjara ... I've already got you bookmarked and I've been reading you!)

Okay ... I've got to go and post some more thoughts that are rattling around in my brain.

Lauren said...

I have never done anything like that and can not imagine why you would have said that. I NEVER say things that I wish I hadn't. Really! Why don't you believe me? Stop shaking your head! STOP IT! Fine, I admit it. We have this in common too, but not the verse from Job. Nope, it's not in my Bible. I whited that one out years ago.